Watching Reality TV

Oh dear me. This is almost too much reality for one girl to take. We start off, as usual, with “Deadliest Catch”, that most awesome of Discovery Network shows. The weather is wicked being that it is January and this is Alaska. The waves are nuts and the boats are getting knocked around like toys. Makes for some awesome television, let me tell ya. A rogue wave knocks one of the boats and actually busts up the “spooler”. Thank goodness no one was on deck when it happened or everyone would have been in big trouble. At another point in the show, one of the deckhands gets his leg got caught in the line on the trap and if he hadn’t moved so quickly, the guy would have been yanked overboard. Yikes! Meanwhile, things are looking pretty bad for the Northwestern. Just when their luck was looking up and they started raking in some SERIOUSLY full crab pots, the boat starts acting up. Some investigatory work is done and basically, the engine is kaput or trying to become kaput (it all is a bit over my head, actually). The long and short of it is, the Northwestern is hatin’ life. Which is awful cuz I love those guys. Starting next week: we’ll get to watch a miniseries that takes place after the show called “After the Catch” where the nutjob from “Dirty Jobs” interviews the different captains and finds out the behind the scenes scoop. Sweet! Sign me up!

Then, we moved on to “American Idol”. Talk about being down to the wire. After some banter about Paula’s broken nose, we get to the nitty gritty. Blake won the coin toss last episode so he chose to go first. He starts off with his completely awesome rendition of “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi which is even awesomer than the last time. Even Simon is effusive about the performance. Jordin chose to sing “Fighter” by Christina Aquilera and I thought she got a little “screechy” during the middle of the song. Definitely wasn’t her best song. So round one went to Blake, hands down. But the next round, he chose “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 and she chose “A Broken Wing” by Martina McBride, which you’ll remember she rocked rather soundly the first time she sang it. So even though he did a great job with his song, Jordin smoked him during this round. The last round, I thought, was rather unfair. The Idols were told to sing the winner of the songwriter competition’s song, called “This is My Now”. I wouldn’t say it was made for a woman (because it wasn’t), but it was definitely far better suited to Jordin’s style of singing rather than Blake’s. He was frustrated with the song, obviously, but shrugged it off. Jordin did a little better (but I still thought she sounded flat, probably the song’s fault and not hers) and finished off with tears in her eyes, guaranteeing her a healthy chunk of the sympathy vote. Whatever. I so voted for Blake, it’s not even funny. We are treated to Daughtry singing “Home” live on the stage at the end of the show, a very fitting tribute. And I’m still upset that he didn’t win his season. Taylor Hicks is a frickin’ hack. Ahem.

Now, here’s where things got interesting. We had the “Dancing with the Stars” finale and results show (Two hours though? Seriously? What do they think this is, “American Idol”?). But we also had the premiere of “On the Lot” which simply MUST be watched. Praise the heavens for Tivo, is all I can say. “On the Lot” looks like a really promising show. We had the usual reality premiere drudgery, where we’re introduced to a mob of contestants and everything is still rather confusing and disjointed. However, we were introduced to the judges, who are awesome. We have Carrie Fisher, Brent Ratner and Gary Marshall, quite the big-wigs in my opinion. I was impressed. The first task was to take a basic story premise and pitch it as a feature film to the judges. Some people dropped the ball in a rather horrifying manner, while others stepped up and one guy gave such a good pitch that Gary was ready to hire him on to do the flick when he was done. The eliminations were painful, but necessary and fair. Painful only because I know it had to be so disappointing for those who were hoping for more from this experience. The show will be on next on Thursday and we’ll see the contestants’ first big efforts: a 2 1/2 minute short that they had literally NO TIME to put together. As a team. Yeah, should be fun. I know I’ll be tuning in.

On “Dancing with the Stars”, what else is there to talk about other than who won? I was pleased to see Apolo and Julianne take home the trophy. They deserved it. Laila was a good dancer, but she and Maks lacked the chemistry and all around enjoyment that Apolo and Julianne had. Joey had flair up the ying yang, but he lacked the skills to beat Apolo. Overall, it was a very satisfying end to the show. Just don’t tell that to Laila or Joey. In her words, Laila was pissed to be booted out in third place. And Joey looked very obviously disappointed to come in second. But they had to know the audience loved Apolo. So yay! That’s the sort of reality finale I like to see. However, maybe in the future they can cut it back to one hour tops because two hours for that stuff was TORTURE. They didn’t have near enough content to fill a full two hours and it was awful having to suffer through the drivel to get to the good stuff. Think about that next season, ABC.