Watching Reality TV

Oh, but as it gets worse, it gets so so so much better.  In light of yesterday’s post about the backslide of reality TV, I think I understand now what the problem is.  Why shows like “Big Brother”, “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Deadliest Catch” do well while “Pirate Master” and “On the Lot” flail and founder.  The former are exciting, titillating, and unpredictable.  The former are so true to formula that nothing “new” or “exciting” ever seems to happen.  People tune in to reality TV to see something scandalous.  It’s voyeurism at it’s best.  We want to see someone get their ass chewed up one side and down the other.  So we watch “Hell’s Kitchen”.  We want to see someone look ACTUAL death in the eye and chuckle so we watch “Deadliest Catch”.  We want to see people have sex on television, so we tune into “Big Brother”.  It’s pretty simple, once you look at it.  “Pirate Master” and “On the Lot” give us nothing new and exciting to watch.  So we don’t watch, simple as that.  Reality TV is only about the competition in the strictest sense.  It’s about the DRAMA first and foremost.  Producers like Mark Burnett would be well off to remember that.

Anyhow, back to “Hell’s Kitchen” which rocks so much I can’t hardly stand it. In light of last night’s absolutely horrid dinner service, Gordon has a bunch of military types go in and bugle “Reveille” and wake the contestants up.  They are to serve breakfast for the army and the navy.  Julia gets props from Gordon for taking charge in the kitchen and the guys, well, the guys try hard.  So the women predictably win and the guys are assigned KP duty.  They literally have to peel about a million potatoes.  The women, on the other hand, get a helicopter ride with their pal Gordon.  Aaron, who has been particularly woeful up to this point, full out faints during the potato peeling extravaganza.  He is actually sent to the hospital where the doctor tells him he cannot return to “Hell’s Kitchen” and Gordon calls to give him the bad news and is kinder than I think I’ve ever seen him be.  Anyhow.

We learn that Julia doesn’t know what a creme brulee is and apparently this is an infraction that most of the red team just simply cannot fathom.  Whatever.  Julia rocks, I just wish she’d get some powder for her forehead because the shine off of it makes me nervous.  Dinner service goes about as well as you’d expect.  Which is to say it doesn’t go well at all.  It’s hard to chose which team does worse, but the women get the dubious honor what with the rancid crab that Joanna tries to serve and the spaghetti from the trash that Jen thinks is fit to serve (thank goodness Julia stopped her in time).   Oh, and Bonnie tries to serve raw scallops and sends Gordon into a fit of apoplectic rage.  It was awesome.

So the women are sent off to chose two people to put up before Gordon.  He can barely stand to look at them.  Hee.  So who do they chose?  Joanna is an easy pick.  The other choice should either be Bonnie or Jen but who do they pick?  JULIA.  Why?  Because she doesn’t know what creme brulee is.  No, I’m serious.  Thankfully, Jen knows that’s a bunch of bullshit and when announcing the nominees to Gordon, throws herself on the sword.  She then tells Gordon about the pasta/trash incident and I think as floored as he is that she would dare do something like that, the fact that she saved Julia and then fessed up won some big time points in his book.  Not that there was any way that Julia would be sent home because Gordon likes her.  So who goes?  Joanna.  A big ol’ duh there (remember?  the competition is actually very little of what these shows are about), but deserved.  Let’s hope the women ramp it up next week or the guys are liable to stomp their butts.