Watching Reality TV

Remember last week when Mel B. rocked the rhumba and then Sabrina was eliminated and a piece of me died?  If not, you should really go read those posts.  I hope this week not to anger any rabid Marie Osmond fans.  Yikes.

So yeah, last week sucked.  This week, I’m hoping, will be better.  Everyone take their valium and join me for another week of ballroom dancing!  I promise I won’t say that Marie is going home.  Please don’t kill my dogs.  We’ve got two dances tonight and two sets of scores and my brains might just bleed out my ears because of it.
Helio and Julianne are up first and they are doing the tango and the samba.  During practice, Helio gets a sappy video from his parents, rooting him on.  They tackle the tango first and  think it’s awesome.  I mean, it’s not what you’d expect of a tango, maybe, but I think that’s why I enjoy it.  It’s a lot more upbeat, but you’ve still got the moves.  Len thinks they had drive and attack but is upset that Helio didn’t do a particular move.  Bruno thinks they’re like thunder and lightning but agrees with Len.  The dance needs more polish.  Carrie Ann says she liked it.  Nuff said.  Scores? 9, 8 and 8 for a total of 25.  Middle of the road.

Marie and Jonathan are next with a Navy theme.  They’re dancing the cha cha and the quickstep.  They start with the quickstep and it’s very cute and peppy.  The Navy theme is explained when they dance to “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”.  It’s light and fun and Marie really has her stuff down.  I just hope she doesn’t faint.  Breathe, Marie!  She finishes off with a grand kiss for Len (a nod to him being dissed by Mel and Maks last week?).  Everyone just cracks up.  Bruno thought she was a morale booster and says she got it right.  Carrie Ann says there was nothing campy about this dance and it was all wonderful.  Len says entertainment runs through her veins and obviously really enjoyed it.  Scores?  10, 9 and 9 for a total of 28.  Dang, I thought she’d get a 30.

Mel B and Maksim are next and this week they’re doing foxtrot and paso doble.  Mel looks stunning this evening as they dance their foxtrot.  You don’t often see the women wearing pants but she pulls it off.  It’s a nice foxtrot and I don’t generally like that dance.  This time, Mel greets Tom with a hug at the end of the dance.  Very cute.  Not as good as last week though.  Carrie Ann thought it wasn’t as perfect as last week and a touch out of sync.  Len thought she had lovely arms but the footwork was off.  Bruno thought the footwork needed finesse as well.   Scores?  8, 8 and 8 for a total of 24.  Meh.

Jane and Tony are up next and they’re also doing the cha cha and the quickstep this week.  Jane was sent to the hospital last week for a really bad case of food poisoning.  She’s going to dance to “Walk the Line” which is a tribute to Johnny Cash as she was good friends with him and June.  Her dress… distracting.  Her footwork is pretty blah too.  Not as quick as you’d hope a quickstep would be.  I won’t make any bold proclamations about who is going home, but I’m worried for poor Jane.  The dance didn’t feel like a quickstep to me.  Len says that she’s got grace and elegance but there was lack of body contact and poor footwork.  Bruno says she has natural class and her dress distracted him.  The detail needs to work.  Carrie Ann thought her technique was fine but she wasn’t excited.  Scores?  8, 8 and 8 for a total of 24 which is pretty decent.

Jennie and Derek are up with the rhumba and Viennese Waltz.  The Waltz is first and during practice he had a hard time convincing her to act like she’s in love with him for the rhumba.  Ha!  Their waltz is beautiful and I love the outfits and the music.  Jennie is nothing but grace here and I think it’s a beautiful dance.  They did very well.  She looked anything but nervous.  Bruno says she was like a water nymph but he wants her to sustain her perfection for the entire dance.  Carrie Ann thought they came back two steps tonight, she noticed a lot of broken lines.  Len didn’t think there wasn’t enough Viennese Waltz to the dance and compared it to the samba.  Scores?  8, 8 and 9 or a total of 25.

Cameron and Edyta are up next and are hoping to come back from being in the bottom two last week.  They’re doing the quickstep and the jive.  The quickstep, naturally, is first.  First off, he’s got a ton of energy and I’m nearly shocked at the amount of clothing Edyta is sporting.   I’m paying a lot of attention to their feet (since their posture seems right on) and they seem right on with the footwork too.  Plus, they have a great finish.  Carrie Ann asks if Cameron had a Red Bull before coming on but she thought it maybe was a little wild.  Len says Superman needs to calm down.  Didn’t like the start or finish but the middle was great.  Bruno thought he forgot some steps (eh?) and thinks he needs to get it down.  But overall, Len says he did good for the two dances he had this week.  Scores?  8, 8 and 8 for a total of 24.  I thought they were better than that.

Next are the Latin dances and the clothes are coming off.  I can’t wait to see what Edyta wears.  My husband predicts: floss.

Helio and Julianne are up again, this time with the samba.  Despite looking like she’s wearing an animal on her chest, they both looks good.  And they look very good and Helio seems very into it.  Most of all, he looks like he’s having a good time.  Julianne does too, but it’s him we’re supposed to be watching here.  They finish with a big belly laugh, which is cute.  Bruno says that is what he likes to see and he enjoys seeing him happy and smiling.  Carrie Ann agrees and says he seems more at ease with the Latin dances.   Len makes a political joke before saying, “It was fantastic.”  Scores?  9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.  I was actually hoping for higher.  Total, they have 52 out of 60.
Marie and Jonathan are back doing the cha cha cha.  I don’t dig the theatrical start to the dance, and it somehow seems to lack some energy that you’d expect it to have.  Marie does her best, strutting her stuff and puts on a great show as always.  She seems to pick up steam the longer the dance goes on.  Still, she seemed tired.  Carrie Ann thought her performance was toned perfectly but there wasn’t quite enough content to the dance.  Len agrees quite a bit, good effort but too much messing about.  Bruno liked the character (as always), but she wasn’t quite up to the standards of her first dance.  Scores?   8, 8, and 8 for a total of 24.  Middle of the road.  Total score is 52 for the night.

Mel and Maks go next with their paso doble.  Mel is a sexy lady this evening and she sells it.  I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with this dance.  It’s aggressive and catchy and entertaining and Mel is just perfect.  I don’t know what else to say.  Besides, YAY!  Len says he can barely even comment, he apparently just loved it.  Bruno says it was an adrenaline charged dominatrix and challenges them to top that.  Carrie Ann says they just kicked some serious booty.  So yeah, it was awesome.  And, apparently, they dedicated the dance to Sabrina.  Scores?   10, 10 and 10 for ANOTHER 30 for Mel and Maks!  Total score for the evening is 54 for the night.

Jane and Tony are up next with their cha cha cha. Jane looks cute but I still wonder if there’s enough energy.  My husband says there’s not enough hip or something.  Maybe that’s it.  But I do like it better than their quickstep.  Bruno says calls Jane a golden icon and a well-placed cha cha cha.  Carrie Ann says she did very, very well.  Len thinks she needs to come out and give them fireworks but he liked it overall.  Scores?  8, 9, and 9 for a total of 26 which is very decent.  Their total score for the evening is 50 out of 60.

Jennie and Derek are next with their rhumba.  The song is from the “Pretty Woman” soundtrack and I can’t help but think of it while they’re dancing.  I think Jennie is a perfectionist and you an see it in this dance.  The technical moves are awesome though and I think their chemistry was just fine.  Carrie Ann says they came back after last round and she had beautiful lines.  Len says it had romance and a nice mix of steps but she needs more confidence in herself, she’s fantastic.  Bruno thought it was incredibly satisfying and well paced.  Scores?  9, 9 and 10 for a total of 28.  Their total is 53 for the night.

Cameron and Edyta go last with their jive.  As predicted, Edyta is sparsely clothed but pretty conservative for her and the dance is pretty darn cute.  He finishes with a leap over her head and she flips over his shoulder.  Very cool. Nice finish.  Len thought he did FANTASTIC.  Bruno says there were more kicks than a rodeo and he did a great job.  Carrie Ann says they took a difficult dance for tall people and he’s become quite a fine dancer.  Nice!  Scores?  9, 9 and 9 for a total of 27.  I would have expected at least one ten, from their reactions.  Total score is 51 out of 60 for the night.

Who will be booted?  It’s anyone’s game at this point, I’m done with the predicting!  VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES.  And not just favorite celebrities, people, vote for the best dancers!