“Dancing with the Stars” - Week 5 recap

Wow, how refreshing was it to not have to watch Leeza Gibbons last night? I know, there are a lot of people that are offended by her ouster, thinking it refers to the fact that she is a) middle aged and b) a woman (since there are only two female “stars” left in the competition). I really don’t think there’s anything to that. Leeza just wasn’t up to par with some of the other dancers. The judges and the viewers called her on that. End of story. If you wanna blame anyone, blame the producers for not casting better female dancers. Can I get an amen?
Anyhow, onto the night’s dancing. Ian Ziering and Cheryl Burke danced the samba and it was okay but it wasn’t great. He’s a competant dancer, but he doesn’t stand out in the pack by any means. I don’t think he’ll unnecessarily need to worry this week, but when things get down to the wire, he may be the first to go. Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko danced the rumba and he was truly atrocious. I’m starting to feel bad for Elena because she deserves a better partner than him. He doesn’t even seem to be trying at this point. Does he even show up for practices? The judges gave him a scathing 13 and he deserved it, along with the unofficial title of “Worst Dancer in the Competition”. Yikes. He’ll be gone. He has to be. America, I implore you. Get this thing off my tv screen.
Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts danced the samba and, well, she just shouldn’t have made the guy wax his chest. Why she made him do it, I have no idea. She didn’t want to put her foot on a hairy chest? Anyhow, somehow this baby-smooth chest caused her to fall. Yes, fall. It finally happened! Oh how my heart sings! Sorry, I’m just not a Heather fan folks. I’m not about to change now. The judges were very kind to her and gave her a score of 21 since the rest of the dance was technically good. I don’t know as if I would have been that kind. I have the feeling that they’re giving her a break because of that leg and that really drives me nuts. I don’t think it’s fair to the other dancers. Thankfully, next we had Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson dancing the rumba and once again, he brought it. The Len and Carrie Ann were a little harsh with his scores, but Bruno gave him the props he deserved and they earned a respectable 25. John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska danced the samba and… well, he tries hard. You can say that about him, if not about Clyde. He’s charming and he’s fun, and though he got a rather low 18 from the judges, I am hoping he’ll be in the competition at least another week. Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced the rumba and boy, they blew the doors off. The sexy was back in a big way and any misstepping last week has been long forgotten as the judges gave them an awesome 28.
Next came Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough dancing the samba and yet again we had a completely awesome performance. Having just seen Laila burn up the floor, we were now treated to Apolo incinerating it. Who knew the cute couple could do sexy and do it so danged well? He wanted a perfect score and he got it, 3 10’s from the judges for a score of 30! It was almost a letdown to see Billy Ray Cyrus and Karina Smirnoff dance the rumba next. The sexiness did not translate at ALL and instead Billy Ray came off as rather creepy and slimy. Not the image he wants to project, I’m thinking. The judges didn’t think so either and gave him a 17. I thought that score was deserved.
So who do you think is going home? I think it HAS to be Clyde. He’s killing me here, ya’ll.


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