Watching Reality TV

Remember last week?  How bad Wayne sucked?  And then Albert was the one voted out?  Yeah, that sorta sucked.  So we’ll see how bad Wayne is tonight and if his fans can honestly bring themselves to vote for him yet again.

Oh geeze.  Wayne has a ’stache this week.  AND A PONYTAIL.  Save me.  Good to see Jane back, though what’s with her HAIR?  That better be a wig.   What’s with the hair??  Are these people on dope?

Sabrina and Mark are up first this week, dancing the jive.  So I’m pretty sure Sabrina is gonna mop up the floor with it.  We get started with some impressive gymnastics from Mark and the dance as a whole is cute and fun to watch.  As usual.  It’s a fantastic dance, just nothing bad to say about it.  Of course, I’m not a judge.  Len didn’t like some of the strange, modern moves but he liked it over all, called it their best dance so far.  Bruno is enthusiastic in his response, of course, and loved it.  Carrie Ann thought the dance completely suited her.  Scores?  9, 9 and 9 for a total of 27.  Great score.

Cameron and Edyta are up next, dancing the Tango.  Hmm!  He promises that this will be his dance.  He comes to the floor literally looking like Clark Kent, glasses and all.  As for the dance, I’m literally distracted by Edyta.  She’s just stunning and I mean that.  And I’m a GIRL, so you know the men have to love it.  But I think he did pretty good.  It was fun to watch.  Carrie Ann says she’s surprised, she didn’t think it wasn’t too passionate.  But she liked it otherwise.  Len thought it lacked the tango character.  Bruno, who can’t help but interrupt, thought it was fabulous.   Scores?  8, 7 and 8 for a total of 23 which is pretty nice.  I hope they return next week.

Mark and Kym take the dance floor, dancing the jive.  Apparently, the jive hurts Mark.  To me this says that we’ll see another wooden Mark this week.  It certainly doesn’t compare to Sabrina’s jive, but it’s not so bad.  I just don’t find him charismatic at all.  But yeah, I think he’s pretty stiff for a dance that requires some looseness.   Bruno thought he was dancing better, but needs to be lighter.  Carrie Ann thinks he needs to not dance as much with this face (ha!).  Len thought the choreography was good but that the timing was poor.  Scores?  6, 7, and 7 for a total of 20.  Appropriate.

Jennie and Derek are up dancing the tango, trying to recover from last week’s quick step fall fiasco.  Jennie is very hard on herself about it and Derek is hoping to move her past that.  It’s definitely an angry dance, I’ll give it that.  I don’t know if it’s passionate.  I think I may have liked Cameron’s tango better.  But really, she does a very good job.  Len thought it was sharp and tangy like a pickle.  Carrie Ann gives Jennie a high five and thought it was very well done.  Bruno called it the call back of the season.  So shows what I know.  Scores? 9, 8 and 9 for a total of 26.  Wow.  Wasn’t expecting that.

Mel B and Maksim are up with the jive.  It’s pretty good, actually.  I think this dance plays to a lot of Mel’s strengths.  She’s able to incorporate a lot of her natural athleticism (and that’s not a joke about Sporty Spice, believe it or not) (anyhow, Mel was Scary Spice, not Sporty Spice) (why was she Scary Spice anyhow?  She’s not scary at all!).  Bruno says she was excitement on legs.  Len says the B is for “bounce” and it was her best dance.  Carrie Ann agrees with the other guys.  Scores?  9, 9 and 9 for 27 and a tie with Sabrina and Mark.

Wayne and Cheryl are next doing the tango.  Wayne came close to getting cut (WHY wasn’t he cut??  Damn yous!) and it humbled him (something has to).  Wayne sees a lot of the cowboy in the tango.  I’m going WHAT?  They’re dancing to traditional tango music, so there’s that.  Wayne pretty much looks like a coat rack next to Cheryl.  It’s bad, ya’ll.  Just take my word for it.  He HAS to be gone this week.  Carrie Ann loves his look (what??), but thought Cheryl was leading him a lot (ya think?).  Bruno thinks Wayne has to take over.  Len thought the dance disappeared.  Scores?  6, 6, and 6 for a total of 18.  I think that’s kind, considering.

Floyd and Karina dance next doing the jive.  He’s determined to act more like a dancer than a boxer and even has a riff on that in the beginning with a jump rope.  I think he does great, to be honest.  It’s fun, bouncy and sexy all at once.  The man is definitely good on his feet, I’ll give him that.  Len says it was fun and energetic.  Carrie Ann thought it needed more structure.  Bruno thought he had a ton of potential and that needs to apply it.  Scores?  7, 7 and 7 for a total of 21.  Fair.

Jane and Tony are next with a saucy tango.  We hear and see Jane’s reaction to learning about her mother’s death after the last performance show.  She used the passion from her feelings about her mother and channeled them into her tango.  The dance is dedicated to her.  You go Jane!  As for the dance?  It was very deliberate and very structured and very well done.  Bruno says her dance was worthy of a silent movie queen.  Len says it could have been on pay per view (eh?).  Carrie Ann says she witness a very special moment (near tears, even!).  Scores?  9, 9 and 9 for a total of 27.  Very good show.

Helio and Julianne are next with a jive and hopes are high that he’ll do well yet again.  He hurt his ankle trying to do a jump, so hopefully that won’t cause too many troubles.  The dance is pretty good, I thought.  I mean, they seem to hit all the moves and Helio had charm and charisma as always.  Carrie Ann thought his fun was contagious.  Bruno didn’t think tonight that he was quite “on it” tonight.  Len thought he gave a good performance.   Scores?  8, 8, and 8 for a total of 24.  A decent score, but not at the top of the pack as they usually are.

Lastly we have Marie and Jonathon dancing the tango.  They have a lot to live up to after last week’s fabulous dance.  Jonathon tells Marie she’s the queen of drama, which causes my eyebrow to raise just a hair.  If I have one complaint about Marie’s look so far this season it’s that she looks excessively matronly.  Their tango, however, is pretty decent.  Marie does it well, the acting portion of the dance.  Her disinterest is charming.  They have a splashy finish too, which helps.   Len says it was absolutely elegant.  Carrie Ann says it worked completely.  Bruno says she’s the mistress of characters, absolutely right.  Scores?  9, 8 and 9 for a total of 26.  Very good.

Wow, we had some good scores tonight!  But I think it’s obvious who needs to go.  BYE WAYNE!