Watching Reality TV

Wow, either the world is truly coming to an end and this is a sign of armageddon or maybe we’re seeing a shift towards more rational thought.  Or maybe (just maybe) I started a trend.  Reality TV website and blog reality blurred today published a story about “Deadliest Catch”’s marathon and special airing today and also to discuss this new style of reality television.  They also announced that they would “devote increased focus on these compelling, personality-driven, narrative reality series” (I can only assume they’re including shows like “Ice Road Truckers” in that grouping) that they have until now largely neglected.  They even mention more traditional reality shows as being “contrived, manipulated shows” and that the “docudramas” are “grounded in actual reality, and as such are often more entertaining and dramatic”.

I’m heartened by this story, not just because I’ve said something very similar recently, but because it resonates with truth to me.  These newly styled reality shows are far more entertaining, immensely more gripping and something that I find I can actually CARE about because it is, in fact, REAL.  And shouldn’t that be the essence of reality TV?

Normally I’d have the “Wednesday Reality Roundup” here, but I’m so disgusted with “On the Lot” and nearly sure this show will be axed sooner rather than later and comparing “Deadliest Catch” to it makes it seem like even more of a joke so I’m not even going to go there. If you want to know what happened: Marty got sent home (over Hilary??) and Will and Zach had the best films of the night. The rest of the films were actually pretty tedious, especially the “horror” film from Jessica. Anyhow, that’s all I’m going to say about it. Because the show does truly suck and I fear for where it will tread next.

“Deadliest Catch” rocks, and now it is over. For another year, at least. A huge bummer as far as I’m concerned because like “Hell’s Kitchen”, this is a reality show that works. I was on the edge of my seat for large portions of last night’s show. The Time Bandit, for starters, found themselves in a rough situation. They offloaded their crab at the processor ship near St. Paul island, but had to travel through a lot of treacherous ice to get there. And then? They had to go back. Meanwhile, the ice is packing in tighter around the ship and threatening to overtake it. Seventeen years ago, the Alaskan Monarch found themselves in almost the exact same situation in almost the exact same spot. Their boat was overtaken and the crew was swept into the icy water and it was a bad, bad situation indeed. Captain Jonathon is mindful of this as he slowly steers the Time Bandit through the ice, which is surely damaging the hull. Sure enough, some deckhands go below to check and there are already some menacing looking dents in the hull and each crash has the crew cringing. As dawn breaks, Jonathon spots open water. The Time Bandit has made it to safety. Whew, that was fraught.

Over on the Wizard, they’re finishing up their pots one man short. The greenhorn they took on earlier in the season, Guy, quit shortly into his stint on the boat and simply remained below-decks. Now, he was going to give it another try. The thing is, he’s painfully slow. The captain is getting extremely frustrated so he gives him a pretty gentle reprimand, considering. I’ve seen these captains deal with their crew and most of the time, they’re not that diplomatic. Still, Guy loses it and charges up to the wheelhouse to bawl the captain out. And, of course, he quits again. This leaves another newcomer, Crosby, to fill his shoes and do his own job as well. Which he does, admirably and without complaint. The captain wisely offers Crosby an extra 1/2 percent of the profits for his hard work. And boy, did he earn it.

The Farwest Leader is dealing with some enormous waves and a cranky deck boss. Chili has been riding John the entire season and without much good reason as John is a pretty good crew member. Chili eventually realizes he’s been a little harsh and offers an “apology” of sorts to John. To be honest, it was pretty patronizing and insincere and John recognizes this and brushes the apology off without accepting it. I probably would have done the same. Too little, too late.

The Cornelia Marie is done crabbing and everyone has a little extra time. Last year, when Phil’s son Jake was a greenhorn, they had a hand coiling contest. Phil won, but it was hard fought. This year, they’re going again and newcomer Josh is going to compete as well. Phil barely beats out Jake in the hand coiling and then Josh steps up and shows them both how it’s done. Phil complains that he’ll never hear the end of it, but it’s obvious he’s proud of both of his boys. They have nothing to worry about as they offload their crab, they have brought in over a million pounds of crab.

On the Northwestern, they’re trying to pack in the last of the crab and are having a hard time finding where to put them all. The hull is packed full of crab and they need to off load before the crab start to die in the cramped conditions. Meanwhile, their new greenhorn Jake is still hoping to earn a Northwestern jacket, a true sign of being accepted into the fold. He’s working hard and keeping his head down and the crew and captain notice this. Five pots from being finished, their crane stops working and Edgar has to climb to the top of the ship to work out some repairs. Doesn’t that just figure? He gets it fixed up in good time, however, and the Northwestern is able to finish out the season.

And now for the totals. The Time Bandit earned $540,000 which comes down to $32,000 per deckhand. The Farwest Leader brought in $675,000, $42,000 per deckhand. The Cornelia Marie earned a more than respectable $1,062,000 which works out to $45,000 per deckhand. The Northwestern (easily my favorite) saw $1,170,000 with each deckhand bringing home $42,000. And then there is the Wizard, who earned a staggering $1,600,000 or $55,000 per deckhand. That is money well earned out there on those dangerous waters. How dangerous, you ask? Just take a look of this video of some of the nasty waves that are a daily occurrence on the Bering Sea. Keep in mind, this is in the middle of winter and that water is COLD.

I didn’t enjoy my television as much last night as I normally do on Tuesday nights.  “Deadliest Catch” was spot on, of course.  But then, it always is.  It’s so incredibly difficult to find any show with any sort of consistency in the world of reality TV and “Deadliest Catch” delivers week after week.  I have great affection for this show, as you may have noticed.  Last night saw the final hours of the opilio crab season, as the boats scrambled to snap up huge amounts of crab before going to the sorting facilities to offload their catch.  And snap up huge amounts they did!  Many pots full of 700+ crab were hauled on deck and that’s just amazing right there.  The deckhands were punch-drunk excited when they started calculating what sort of money they’re dealing with.  Ice threatened more than one boat.  It’s quite a gamble, going north to look for crab.  Getting stuck in the ice or losing pots under the ice or having the ice bust open the hull of the ship would be disastrous.  Luckily, it would appear our boats made it out just fine.  And next week?  The boats cash in and we find out just what kind of money they made this season.  And, we say goodbye.  Until next year, that is.  *sniff*

“On the Lot” was on last night as well.  We saw five more contestants films.  I’ve since confirmed that these are indeed their submission films.  And tonight, there was no one film that just jumped out and grabbed me.  Andrew’s “Polished” was pretty decent, as was Shira-Lee’s “Beeline”.  But those films had their faults and fell short of perfect or even “great” in my book.  However, there were some poor films this go around so I think Andrew and Shira-Lee are safe.  Kenny, dear Kenny, did a very serious if disorienting film about grief and alcoholism called “Edge on the End”.  I think he and Marty (who did another serious short called “Dance with the Devil”) are the ones at risk this week.  Marty has great style, but he’s insufferably egotistical and has yet to show any substance to his films.  And Kenny is all style and strange film angles and rough cuts.  Which is fine and good, but depending on what they’re looking for in this competition, I don’t think he stands a great chance.  By having the public vote for the winners, I would gather that they’re looking for a mainstream director and Kenny is anything BUT mainstream.

In other “On the Lot” news, our bottom two from last week are Trever and Hilary.  I would agree that Trever’s film last week was pretty poor, but so was Hilary’s.  And at least Trever’s 1 minute short was awesome, whereas Hilary’s was NOT.  So that makes her with two poor films and him with one and guess who went home?  Yep, it was Trever.  A big bummer, as far as I’m concerned.  I thought she was sure thing to be leaving last night.   Next week?  Five more films.  And then we move on.  I HOPE.

Oh Tuesday night, you wonderful thing you.  Once again, we start off with “Deadliest Catch”, right in the heart of opilio crab season.  With it?  Some nasty, nasty waves.  And super cold freezing temperatures.  You know what those two elements add up to?  ICE.  Everywhere.  The boats are getting covered with it and the crew must knock off the ice every spare moment they have.  Which, if you’ve been paying attention, they don’t have a lot of.  The highlights from this episode include the fate of the Time Bandit.  If you recall, they were laid up before with a crab pot line tangled in one of the propellers.  So while Andy Hilstrand dons scuba gear to go down and perform some repairs, the law catches up with one of the deckhands.  Apparently he missed a court date or some such and got hauled off to jail.  After some chuckling and joking about letting him cool his heels there for a while, the captain and crew go collect money from an ATM to post bail for the guy and get him back fishing as soon as possible.  Meanwhile, the Northwestern is having tremendous luck.  Good weather and tons of crab.  According to Edgar, they are breaking previous records for the most crab caught in such a short amount of time.  The good fortune allows for some teaching moments with their greenhorn (The same one who thought it might be funny prank Edgar.  It wasn’t.).  He wanted to try throwing the hook so they let him.  However, each time he missed he had to lose a piece of clothing.  Which, in the super cold freezing temperatures is pretty tough to take.  But the greenhorn stuck to his guns and earned some valuable respect while he was at it.  He hopes to earn a jacket bearing the Northwestern’s colors, but he hasn’t gotten it yet.  Mostly because he then started whining about how much his hands hurt.  Bad move, as Edgar recommends to Sig that they try some “old school” fishing with the greenhorn.  They make him hand coil the line, clear the pots of clingers by hand, transfer the hundreds of pound of crab to the hold by hand… basically?  Showed him how good he does have it and that maybe he should stop the whining.  I think he learned that lesson pretty well.  The opilio crab season is winding down and the boats are going to be returning to the processing facilities to get counted up soon.  Then we’ll see who came out on top!

We enjoyed another episode of “On the Lot” last night.  Well, maybe “enjoyed” is too strong a word.   But it wasn’t bad.  We’ve been cut back to one episode a week and last night we only got to see five of the filmmakers films.  Luckily, they were mostly pretty good.  Hilary bombed yet again, however.  And Trever (who impressed me so last week with his golf film) didn’t do so hot with his blind date comedy, “Teri”.  The best was easily Sam’s “Broken Pipe Dreams”, about a guy who has issues with a toilet and then proceeds to accidentally flush an engagement ring down the drain.  He ultimately wins out over the toilet and finds redemption.  It was very imaginative and fun to watch.  Our guest judge last night was Michael Bay who has directed many a summer blockbuster.  I found he was a tough nut to crack as he seemed to find something wrong with every film, except for Shalini’s “Laughing Out Loud: A comedic journey” which he said “gave me a chill.”

My best judgement is that next week we’ll see one of these five be eliminated (I’m thinking it’ll be Hilary) and also see the next five films.  Okay, whatever works right?  I just wish they’d figure out how they’re going to do this show already and stick to it.  I’m starting to feel rather confused over here.

It may be summer, “American Idol” and “Dancing with the Stars” may be over but there is still some warrant for a Wednesday Reality Roundup. For one thing, we still have “On the Lot” to talk about. I still believe in this show. I think the new “American Idol”-esque format is working for it. A lot of other critics out there are hating it and that’s a shame because I think it’s so much more interesting now than it was last week. Anyhow, last night was the “results show” from the previous night’s films. I was a little disappointed and surprised by the way the voting turned out. I expected “Replication Theory” to at least get in the top three. And I was hoping that Kenny (Wack Alley Cab), Hilary (Bus #1) and Jessica (How to Screw in a Lightbulb) would be the ones leaving. And NONE OF THEM DID. Instead it was Carolina (Deliver Me), Claudia (Blind Date), and Phil (Please Hold) who went home and I’m just dumbfounded.  I was also perturbed to see Getta Rhoom in the top three for the night.  While I didn’t think it was as bad as the judges said the previous night (and, oh by the way, they totally don’t think that way about it now), I didn’t think it was one of the best.  ARGH.  I want this show to have a chance people.  But in order for that to happen, we’ve got to think smart on this.  We have to actually pay attention and vote for the best films.  AND NOT FOR THE WORST.  Who the hell voted for Wack Alley Cab?  I think you need professional help, whoever you are.  So, we’ll be back next Monday for more films.  I have hope for the future.

Let’s not forget that “Deadliest Catch” was on last night as well.  And the reason I live “opie” season was in full effect with giant waves threatening to swamp the boats and wash the deckhands off the into the Bering Sea.  And that makes for some pretty good television as far as I’m concerned.  The Northwestern finally got some really good luck in the form of super-full crab pots which is great news for them after last week’s engine failure.  A greenhorn aboard makes a big mistake by trying to prank Edgar and that goes over about as well as a lead balloon.  Dummy.  So far, Opilio crab season hasn’t seen any fantastic yields and the boats seem to be struggling more than anything else.  Still, it’s all good television.  And I’d forgotten that the special, “After the Catch” was on afterward.  I tried to watch but what with getting dinner and putting children to bed and other distractions, I wasn’t able to watch as much of it as I would have liked.  But it looked like an interesting conversation between the different captains and Mike Rowe (the narrator of the series) on some of their experiences.  I think it’ll be on next week too, so I hope to catch it then.

So that’s it for now.  Enjoy your Wednesday!

Oh dear me. This is almost too much reality for one girl to take. We start off, as usual, with “Deadliest Catch”, that most awesome of Discovery Network shows. The weather is wicked being that it is January and this is Alaska. The waves are nuts and the boats are getting knocked around like toys. Makes for some awesome television, let me tell ya. A rogue wave knocks one of the boats and actually busts up the “spooler”. Thank goodness no one was on deck when it happened or everyone would have been in big trouble. At another point in the show, one of the deckhands gets his leg got caught in the line on the trap and if he hadn’t moved so quickly, the guy would have been yanked overboard. Yikes! Meanwhile, things are looking pretty bad for the Northwestern. Just when their luck was looking up and they started raking in some SERIOUSLY full crab pots, the boat starts acting up. Some investigatory work is done and basically, the engine is kaput or trying to become kaput (it all is a bit over my head, actually). The long and short of it is, the Northwestern is hatin’ life. Which is awful cuz I love those guys. Starting next week: we’ll get to watch a miniseries that takes place after the show called “After the Catch” where the nutjob from “Dirty Jobs” interviews the different captains and finds out the behind the scenes scoop. Sweet! Sign me up!

Then, we moved on to “American Idol”. Talk about being down to the wire. After some banter about Paula’s broken nose, we get to the nitty gritty. Blake won the coin toss last episode so he chose to go first. He starts off with his completely awesome rendition of “You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi which is even awesomer than the last time. Even Simon is effusive about the performance. Jordin chose to sing “Fighter” by Christina Aquilera and I thought she got a little “screechy” during the middle of the song. Definitely wasn’t her best song. So round one went to Blake, hands down. But the next round, he chose “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 and she chose “A Broken Wing” by Martina McBride, which you’ll remember she rocked rather soundly the first time she sang it. So even though he did a great job with his song, Jordin smoked him during this round. The last round, I thought, was rather unfair. The Idols were told to sing the winner of the songwriter competition’s song, called “This is My Now”. I wouldn’t say it was made for a woman (because it wasn’t), but it was definitely far better suited to Jordin’s style of singing rather than Blake’s. He was frustrated with the song, obviously, but shrugged it off. Jordin did a little better (but I still thought she sounded flat, probably the song’s fault and not hers) and finished off with tears in her eyes, guaranteeing her a healthy chunk of the sympathy vote. Whatever. I so voted for Blake, it’s not even funny. We are treated to Daughtry singing “Home” live on the stage at the end of the show, a very fitting tribute. And I’m still upset that he didn’t win his season. Taylor Hicks is a frickin’ hack. Ahem.

Now, here’s where things got interesting. We had the “Dancing with the Stars” finale and results show (Two hours though? Seriously? What do they think this is, “American Idol”?). But we also had the premiere of “On the Lot” which simply MUST be watched. Praise the heavens for Tivo, is all I can say. “On the Lot” looks like a really promising show. We had the usual reality premiere drudgery, where we’re introduced to a mob of contestants and everything is still rather confusing and disjointed. However, we were introduced to the judges, who are awesome. We have Carrie Fisher, Brent Ratner and Gary Marshall, quite the big-wigs in my opinion. I was impressed. The first task was to take a basic story premise and pitch it as a feature film to the judges. Some people dropped the ball in a rather horrifying manner, while others stepped up and one guy gave such a good pitch that Gary was ready to hire him on to do the flick when he was done. The eliminations were painful, but necessary and fair. Painful only because I know it had to be so disappointing for those who were hoping for more from this experience. The show will be on next on Thursday and we’ll see the contestants’ first big efforts: a 2 1/2 minute short that they had literally NO TIME to put together. As a team. Yeah, should be fun. I know I’ll be tuning in.

On “Dancing with the Stars”, what else is there to talk about other than who won? I was pleased to see Apolo and Julianne take home the trophy. They deserved it. Laila was a good dancer, but she and Maks lacked the chemistry and all around enjoyment that Apolo and Julianne had. Joey had flair up the ying yang, but he lacked the skills to beat Apolo. Overall, it was a very satisfying end to the show. Just don’t tell that to Laila or Joey. In her words, Laila was pissed to be booted out in third place. And Joey looked very obviously disappointed to come in second. But they had to know the audience loved Apolo. So yay! That’s the sort of reality finale I like to see. However, maybe in the future they can cut it back to one hour tops because two hours for that stuff was TORTURE. They didn’t have near enough content to fill a full two hours and it was awful having to suffer through the drivel to get to the good stuff. Think about that next season, ABC.

I am back in business, ya’ll! And I couldn’t be happier. I spent all of this afternoon trying to get everything reinstalled and set up the way I like it again. I still have a lot to do, but at least I’m able to post again. The only other computer available to me (when he wasn’t taking it to work with him) was my husband’s laptop and the keyboard on that is WAY too tiny to type on. I’d get through a paragraph only to accidentally select and delete what I’d just written. BAH! Anyhow, I’m happy to report, things will be getting back to normal around here. I’m so sorry for the lack of posts the last several days and thanks so much for being patient!

Firstly, we have last night’s “Deadliest Catch” episode. I LOVE the snow crab season. LOVE it. It always seems to be a big ramp up from the king crab season. The weather is nastier, for one thing. We were introduced to a bunch of new greenhorns tonight. Which, correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t you rather be a greenhorn during king crab season than snow crab season? Seriously? Should be interesting to see how they all do. There was also a sequence tonight where someone on another boat got gravely ill and the coast guard had to be called out to rescue him. The guy was literally on his last legs. Lord knows what was wrong with him. But it was intense. We should have some good moments coming up, looks like the weather is going to make things interesting sooner rather than later.

“American Idol” is really getting down to the wire and I’m a little scared. Because I love everyone who is left and I don’t want to see any of them go. But one of them HAS to go and that really bums me out. Tonight, the first songs were selected by the judges. And the contestants did pretty well with them, but Melinda is the only one to really hit it out of the park. Fair enough. The next songs were selected by the producers and Jordin didn’t do maybe as well, Blake did better and Melinda, yet again, did a fabulous job. Tonight we had THREE songs and the third set were the contestants favorite songs. Aww! Fun! Melinda and Jordin did okay and Blake did a really fantastic job and wowed even Simon. But when it comes down to it, it looks as if the judges favor the women in the final two. Simon especially hopes to see Melinda in the final two, no matter what happens. I hate to think of any of these talented people leaving, but I fear it will be Blake. Which is a shame because he’s a fantastic singer and he takes wonderful risks and really tries to keep himself modern in a competition that will often “age” and make corny your average talent-seeker. But I guess we’ll have to wait for the results show. *bites nails nervously*

Yep, it was as expected. Ian and Cheryl were sent packing tonight and rightly so. I mean, how could they overcome the sheer awesomeness that was the other three dancing teams from Monday night? I mean, COME ON. Though I’m still smarting over Len calling Apolo’s fantastic cha cha “raunchy” because it was probably the single most awesome dance I’ve ever seen on that show. I’m hoping he wins because he’s simply fantastic. But then again, the judges have a thing for Laila. She’s good, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know. Her partner, Maksim, kinda bugs me. I think he’s sort of a jerk. So if I had to predict, I’d say it’ll be Apolo for the win. But then again, I’ve been saying that for weeks now so this should be no surprise to you. I was not sad to Ian go, but I will be sad next week. I feel it might be Joey going home (as it should) and that sorta makes me sad because he’s so much fun to watch. But we are getting down to the wire and it’s time to get serious. Dangit.

So yay! I’m back in business! I’m so happy to have my laptop back, I could spit.

Yep, it’s that time again! God, I love Tuesday night’s. It’s like sin dipped in chocolate and wrapped in whipped cream, isn’t it? So let’s get started with “Deadliest Catch” because it just very well might be my favorite thing about Tuesday nights. Last night was the end of the king crab season, with all the crews racing to the “finish line”. And for a good while, it looked like Blake, the newbie captain of the Maverick, would be taking home the captain’s wager. The Maverick was raking in the crab and even had to toss back about 5 thousand crab in order to not come in over quota. Of course, when the crab was tallied up at the end of the line, Blake found out that he was off his count by about, oh, 5 thousand. OUCH. The Northwestern, Farwest Leader and Wizard all brought in the big bucks, with each crew member earning over $35,000 for a few days of amazingly difficult and dangerous work. But what excited me the most? Next week we see the beginning of the snow crab season. The crews head back out in January (as opposed to November during the king crab season) and the weather is, shall you say, a bit more interesting. I love snow crab season. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

On “American Idol”, we had “disco night” courtesy of the Bee Gee’s and Barry Gibb in particular. And was I the only one who was surprised at how much Barry Gibb sounded exactly like Sean Connery when he spoke? That distracted me all episode long. Anyhow, many of the idols chose Bee Gee’s songs even though Bee Gee’s songs should be sung only by Bee Gee’s. And judges realized this when their ears were assaulted not once, but twice by each of the contestants. Not all the songs were Bee Gee’s however. But I’m still smarting from LaKisha’s unfortunate rendition of “Stayin’ Alive”. And that is just a crime against nature. A lot of our favorites did not have good night’s last night. Melinda didn’t have a very good night. LaKisha had a horrible night. Even dear, dear Blake didn’t impress anyone with his beatboxed disco classics. Though I had to give him props for taking another chance. I did find myself agreeing with Randy when he told Blake that he didn’t have to beatbox EVERY song. You know, feel free to switch it up some. Gah. But he did pretty well with the material he had. Jordin scored the only high praise of the evening. And it was high praise indeed. Barry Gibb himself said that her rendition of “To Love Somebody” is the best version of the song he’s ever heard sung and he’s heard hundreds of artists sing it. The judges practically fell all over themselves with the raves on her performance. Unfortunately her second song of the evening wasn’t as fantastic, but we forgive her for the first song was loverly. Now, who will be going home? I want to say it’s going to be LaKisha. A lot of people feel like Blake is in the hot seat and I really hope he is not. I honestly feel it is LaKisha’s time to go home.

Then, on “Dancing with the Stars”, everyone’s fondest wish was granted when Billy Ray was FINALLY sent packing. But first, we had to endure some nailbiting as Joey was in the bottom two with him. Joey, honestly? Not Ian? That didn’t make any sense to me. And, yet again, we had to endure an entire hour of fluff to get to the meat of the show. I’m starting to get really annoyed with this overblown results shows. I have half a mind to only tune into the last ten minutes and call it good. But at any rate, Billy Ray is gone and we don’t have to watch him slack his way through any more dances. Praise the Lord! We don’t have to hear him complain about having to learn new steps either. Double Bonus! I’m really scared for Joey though. I hope last night served as a wakeup call and the fans will be calling in for him in droves next week. I’d sure hate for him to leave before Ian, who I feel is the next who should go.

Until next Wednesday… keep it real. (geddit? ha!)

Oh how I enjoy Tuesday night’s in Reality Land. They always seem to catch me by surprise too. I’ll be minding my own business, watching the evening news and our lovely satellite DVR will automatically switch over to “Deadliest Catch” at 6pm (gotta love the west coast). And last night was good, too. But heck, this is “Deadliest Catch”, it’s always good. Some of the boats had some rough luck last night, poor guys. Others seemed to be raking in the crab. I couldn’t help but root for the Maverick and it’s “newbie” skipper. I want him to do well on his first time out as a captain. Looks like we’re coming to the end, of king crab season at least. I wonder if they’ll do like last year and extend the show into snow crab season? Because as I recall, that’s when things got a little intense. If you still aren’t watching this show, even after my repeated urgings, then I have nothing to say to you. Nyah.

It was “rock week” on “American Idol” last night, headed by the fabulous Jon Bon Jovi. All the contestants had to sing Bon Jovi songs and I couldn’t have been happier. Of course, I wasn’t so happy when I heard what Chris Richardson did to “Wanted Dead or Alive”. I’m embarrassed that this guy is from San Jose, my hometown. Please tell me he’s leaving this week? I didn’t enjoy LaKisha too much this week either. She tended to yell her song and her outfit was especially distracting. But I enjoyed her “spicier” attitude and the kiss with Simon was TV gold. So I’ll forgive her. Jordin just needs to not ever do that to her hair ever, ever again. It was NOT her week. No, the best singers of the night were Blake, who with hair dyed black, sang a completely different and awesome rendition of “You Give Love a Bad Name”. I didn’t think that was a song you could beatbox, but apparently if you’re Blake it is. He rocked it and then some. And of course, Melinda was the bomb. I was half expecting her to end up like LaKisha but she really knocked it out of the park. She sang “Have a Nice Day” and she seriously ROCKED. I was very impressed with her performance. She and Blake are the clear front runners to me. I’m sure Jordin is up there too, but Blake and Melinda have a very bright future ahead of them, regardless. I thought last night was a great night on “Idol”.

I don’t have very long so let me quickly sum up the results for “Dancing with the Stars”: I was wrong. BOO. BOOOOOO!!!! I thought that Billy Ray so should have been the one to go home. Even BILLY RAY thought he should have been the one to go home, judging from the look on his face. Two more dances to learn? That’s got to be hell for him. No, poor Cliff Clavin was sent packing and I am all about BOOOing that. The results show didn’t seem overly padded for a change, and that was nice. It should be like that every week as far as I’m concerned. So yeah, John went home. BOOO!! (I’m still not over it).

You know, I could talk about “Dancing with the Stars” and how the gods smiled up on me and smote Heather Mills (it is my birthday!) so that I never have to watch her dance on my screen ever, ever again. Or I could talk about “American Idol” and how it finally feels like a real competition and everyone on last night’s show did a really good job but Blake still has a piece of my heart. But I’m not going to. No, once again, I’m going to talk about “Deadliest Catch”. This show is quite possibly the best show on TV. It certainly is the best reality show on TV. And if you aren’t watching it then I pity you because you are SO missing out.

It’s got death; real, honest-to-goodness DEATH and it lurks around every turn on this show. Three people have died already, folks. Sure, no one that we “know” on the show but it was a stark reminder of just how real this show is. These people go out in quite possibly some of the most ill-tempered weather and mean waters to be found on this planet and they try to pull crab from it’s depths. Sounds like no big deal, but just you watch an episode. You’ll have a new appreciation for those crab legs at the grocery store from now on, I guarantee it. You become completely involved in the boats and their crews. Everyone has a favorite. My favorite is the Northwestern, piloted by Sig Hansen. Speaking of which, Sig and his brother (and deck boss) Edgar were on Jay Leno last night and they were pretty funny. Especially Edgar, who was cracking out the jokes right and left.

Seriously, just do me a favor and watch it. Discovery is running marathons of this show all the time so it’s really easy to catch up. You can also watch the episodes online, I believe, from the Discovery channel website. Just watch it and you’ll see what I’m talking about. And then it’ll be your favorite new show too. TRUST ME.

Yep, it’s that time again!

First up, we had “Deadliest Catch”, which NEVER fails to enthrall me. It’s on during dinner time around here, so we keep the television on. Though, I started thinking twice about eating dinner and watching it at the same time when one of the guys cut his finger pretty bad and they insisted on SHOWING it and then showing the doctor sew it back up again. Yeesh. Both the Cornelia Marie and the Northwestern are having truly crappy seasons. It’s surprising because they are always leading the pack. I find myself hoping that the tide turns for these fishing giants soon because I want to see them do well. Meanwhile, the “newbie” captain on the Maverick (please correct me if I’m wrong and that’s the wrong boat) is getting hazed right and left and it’s funny as heck. It’s nice to see everyone enjoying themselves, despite the ever-present danger inherent in the job. I’ll say it again, if you aren’t watching this show, you need to start. Discovery runs “marathons” of it all the time, usually on the weekends and it’s super easy to catch up. Just watch, you won’t be disappointed.

Now, for “Idol”. We all know the real story here: Sanjaya. And ya’ll? It’s over. It’s not even funny any more. He just HAS to go. He completely murdered Bonnie Raitt’s totally awesome “Something to Talk About” and I literally felt ill just watching him. It’s retarded. If there is a God, this boy will be going home. He. Needs. To. Leave. Period, end of sentence. Fun’s over. In other “Idol” news, Phil did not bother me as much this week. He wasn’t great (is he ever?), but he wasn’t awful either. I actually think I liked his performance better than Blake’s which has to tell you something because I loves me some Blake. Lakisha was so-so. Chris made me want to murder him. Melinda was completely fabulous. I like how she had her hair done this week, it de-emphasized her lack of a neck. She looked great. And she sounded even better.

Tonight was also the results show for “Dancing with the Stars”. It was nice to see not only Clyde in the bottom two (which, DUH), but Heather as well. Was she worse on Monday than John or Billy Ray? Not especially. But she did fall and I don’t like her. Two big strikes against her. It was nice to see, even though I knew she was safe. Because it tells me America ain’t falling for her bullshit either. Yes, it was Clyde that went home. Thank GOD. Next week we’ll get to see the remaining contestants do the Jive and the Swing. The Jive… eh, we’ve seen it. But I am looking forward to the Swing. That should be a lot of fun. Apolo and Julianne got the encore performance, rightly so. They’re just so fun to watch. Easily my favorite so far this season. I loves me some Joey too, but Apolo is the bomb. And, I’m still annoyed with how they drag out these results shows. Just GET TO IT. I’m getting old here, people.

Coming up tomorrow? The “Idol” results show. Will Sanjaya FINALLY go home (please oh please oh please)? If Blake goes home I may have to throw something through my television screen and then how will I watch my tv?

Wow, last night was a good night for reality tv. At least from where I’m sitting. And while “House” did win out over the “Dancing with the Stars” results show, I was still very interested in the results. But let’s go in order, shall we?

***

“Deadliest Catch” premiered it’s third season last night and I was in crab heaven. And we haven’t even seen any crab yet! It was that good. It was great to see some returning favorites, like the crews of the Cornelia Marie and the Northwestern among others. It felt like being reunited with old friends. Being the premiere episode, we got to see the crews preparing for the king crab season. That included a pretty amusing segment where they shopped for supplies. The “ship mother” with her shopping list and recipes to buy for and the men who simply walked down aisles and knocked food into the cart willy nilly.

The big news of the episode was tragedy. I’m not sure of the details, but there was another fishing vessel that encountered distress and the crew abandoned ship. Which, during the fall in the Baring Sea is no small feat considering the near-Arctic temperatures of the water. We followed the Coast Guard on the rescue and witness the ominous discovery of the empty survival suit and the even more ominous discovery of the completely empty life-raft. The episode closed out with the rescue of one guy, in his survival suit in the ocean. As they cut him out of his suit, he was shaking so hard he was nearly a blur. And that’s where the episode ended. Dude. That’s just intense, right there. If you missed it, you can catch the episode online here: “Deadliest Catch” fansite.

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We were treated to yet another episode of “American Idol” tonight. And I was pleasantly surprised by the pairing of Tony Bennett with the contestants. That man is class. The Way You Look Tonight was the song my husband and I danced to at our wedding. And the songs everyone chose were pretty good, for the most part. I am not including, of course, Sanjaya. He aggravates me and makes me want to tear my ears off. I don’t have any idea WHY he’s still on that show. But I do enjoy Simon’s snarky comments to him each week. He’s getting meaner. Meaner to Hayley as well, though she rightly deserves most of it. Despite looking bodacious in a jewel green dress, her singing was subpar at best. Simon’s comment to her? “Your legs look great.” I’m sure he meant another part of her anatomy, but legs works. The best of the bunch were Lakisha (of course) and Melinda (who looked so much better in a more modernly stylish dress and new hairstyle). This comes as no surprise, I’m sure. If I had to bet on who would be going home, I’d say either Hayley or Phil (who was tone-deaf tonight), since we KNOW Sanjaya won’t be going home. Bah!

***

And, lastly, “Dancing with the Stars”. Turns out that Shandi the beauty queen went home. I can understand that. Her dancing is okay, but nothing remarkable and she doesn’t have a strong tie to the fans the way some of the other contestants do. And how pleased was I that Leeza ended up in the bottom two. Is that mean spirited of me? Heh. Even though the judges were pleased with her on Monday, it was nice to see the audience speak out. I don’t think she’ll be around for too much longer. Mark my words people. And though the judges weren’t happy with Apolo and Laila this week, the fans were. And that’s what matters. Now, if this were a perfect world, Leeza would be going home next week, followed rather unceremoniously by Heather Mills (before she milks any more publicity, GOD). But we all know this isn’t a perfect world and my dreams are destined to be dashed. Dangit.

This news makes me feel downright giddy. If you missed The Discovery Channel’s hit show “Deadliest Catch” last year, you’ll want to make sure to tune in this year. The third season of this enthralling reality show hits the airwaves this April, according to a news story over at realitytvwebsite.com. The show will premiere on Tuesday, April 3rd at 9pm on The Discovery Channel. Check your local listings for exact showtimes. This show follows several prominent boats in a very lucrative but VERY dangerous fishing industry up in Alaska. These guys go out in the worst weather, perhaps some of the worst weather in the world, and fish for Alaskan King Crab, among other crab varieties. There’s snow, ice, wind and rogue waves. Every crew members risks severe hypothermia or just plain getting tossed overboard. Boats threaten to sink under the enormous weight of the ice that coats the several hundred pound crab “pots” that are piled up on the decks. This show is a nailbiter, but more than that, it’s just plain fascinating. I swear, since we watched it last season (and hung on every episode), I haven’t been able to look at the crab at the grocery store quite the same way again. Definitely give this one a shot. If you’d like to learn more about the show and catch some exclusive content, go to the fansite on Discovery.com. You can watch some video and catch up with some of the “regulars” on the show. Awesome!