Watching Reality TV

If you missed it, you probably don’t care.  But just in case, here are the recaps!

• Big Brother Craze
• Buddy TV
• MSNBC
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

Previously, we saw exactly how Dick and Daniele took over the house, starting with no one being able to evict either one of them early on like they should have.  Dangit.  Shoot, we’re all here to see the reveal of “America’s Player” anyhow, not who wins.  Right?

The jury had a rough choice.  We get to see them gather in sequester to debate who they think should win.  But first, who will be the final jury member?  They ponder it and while Jen is espousing how much she hates Dick, Zach shows up.  Everyone’s pretty bummed.  They’re all pretty devastated by the choice.  Eric learns he needs to campaign for Dick, which is little surprise.  But the jury really seems to detest the idea of giving Dick the reward, especially Dustin and Zach.  Eric meanwhile defends Dick’s (somewhat underhanded) tactics, that nasty as they were, they worked.  And he wasn’t sniveling, at least.   Eric starts making some sense to them, and they wonder if they can get past Dick’s deplorable personality to the fact that he probably deserves to win.  And how fierce a competitor was Daniele?  She was on it regarding vetos and HoH, but then so was Dick.  Jessica doesn’t see her being any better than her dad at the game.  It’s a pretty interesting discussion with good points all around.  Dustin makes me chortle by saying “it’s either Evil or Evil Spawn.”  Too right.

Now we get to see the jurors give their big questions to the Donatos and Dustin goes first.  I’d go through the answers but… the recaps sum it up much better than I could and the answers aren’t much different than you’d expect them to be.  Blah blah blah.  Interesting is that neither feel the express need to kiss any jury butt.  But I think that underlines that these two full intend to share the winnings with each other (even though they’re not supposed to) and even they could care less which one of them wins.  BOO!  But at least Dick is honest.  Zach actually asked a pretty interesting question and got some interesting answers.  Daniele tries to be the biggest diplomat of the two but even then… it’s a tough call.  What’s fun is that Daniele finds something to somehow be pissed at Dick about regarding his speech to the jury and he’s justifiably annoyed.  There’s just no winning with that girl, is there?

And now?  The JURY!  Which means we’ll get the big reveal, FINALLY.  At least I think so.  Julie makes some noises about a final word before voting so we’ll see.  Maybe they’ll wait until the winner has been “crowned”.  Damnit.  Back to the show!  (we had commercials)  Blah blah about how it’s been in the house.  Let’s move on.  Let’s VOTE.  Each juror gives a little “reasoning” before they insert their key matching who they would like to win.  More of a “statement” actually.  Some are snarky, some are congratulatory.  Eric goes first, then Jameka, Dustin, Jen, then Zach, Amber and finally Jessica.  But before we get to see the votes, we have more commercials!  Wee!

But wait!  First we have to speak to Dick and Daniele’s family, in the person of Vincent (son and brother) and Charlotte (mother and grandmother).  And then we get to speak briefly to the first five evicted houseguests and they all have pretty trite things to say.  YAWN.  Let’s do something interesting, shall we?  PLEASE?  Ah yes, time to reveal “the big secret”.  Yay!   HEE!  Julie opens it up and shows the video of Eric explaining himself as “America’s Player”.  Dustin takes the news very well, considering.  Everyone looks shocked, but no one looks too upset, I think.  What did Jessica think?  She’s surprised, but I don’t think she’s mad.  She says she’s not mad at least.  What did Dick and Daniele think?  Dick specifically, since it was America’s vote that kept him in the house.  Daniele thinks it’s hilarious so maybe she doesn’t hold the vote against Nick against him?  And Dustin?  He thinks it’s fabulous even though it was deadly to him.  And Jen?  She now realizes that America was childish, not Dick (or Eric).  Ha!  Okay, she’s mildly amusing.

Okay, next the votes will be revealed!  Wee! Cut to the audience where we get a hysterical shot of a guy yawning.  I know, dude.  I know.   So the results are: Eric=Dick.  Jameka=Daniele.  Dustin=Dick.  Jen=Daniele.  Zach=Dick.  Amber=Dick. At this point, he is the winner.  So what is Jessica’s vote?  Dude, I wanna know!  Cuz I’m sure as hell not surprised by Dick winning.  So basically, AMERICA, this is all on you for picking to boot Dustin in week 6.  Ya’ll suck.  Everyone congratulates Dick and it’s basically just a massive throng.  More after the break.

Julie thankfully reveals that Jessica voted for Dick.  So she enjoyed him more in the house (based on her comments) than Daniele!  Too funny.  It doesn’t matter, Daniele says and I couldn’t agree more.