Watching Reality TV

We’re back with more “Survivor” goodness this week!  If you need to catch up, check out these faboo recaps:

• Watching Survivor
• TV Squad
• Buddy TV
• MSNBC
• CBS.com

So we check in with our castaways and they don’t look like they’re doing so hot.  Zhan Hu is squabbling about shelter building and it’s all rainy and miserable.  Sounds like “Survivor” to me!  Dave is trying to run things and everyone is just sort of digging in their heels against him.  Doesn’t seem too wise to me to be making power plays this early on in the game, but what do I know?

Over on the “other” team (let’s just call them red tribe and yellow tribe, okay? so much easier for me), they’re complaining about Jean-Robert who is always tired and snores very loudly.  A little alliance is budding already, with two devious sorts, Amanda and Todd,  enlisting the more powerful Aaron to “do their dirty work” for them.  I was a little surprised that Aaron went for it.  J-R sticks up for himself and insists that he is NOT lazy.  He also insists that this is all part of the plan, because he’s a mad poker genius.  Yeah, how’s that working for you J-R?

Dave over on yellow tribe talks about getting the shelter built.  Everyone else is feeling pretty snarly about not having anything to eat.  I’d say “buck up” but I’m pregnant right now and if I have to go 4 hours without eating, I start getting DANGEROUS so I don’t have room to talk.  Ashley is parading around in an amazingly small amount of clothes.  I mean… wow.  I bet the men of the world are glad she wasn’t booted out last week.  Dave meanwhile is being a bit of a turd but he is trying to get things done.  So I don’t know.  Jury’s out.   I think he could be a little more diplomatic though.

So it’s time for a reward challenge.  Basically, the tribes have to push giant balls through a mud pit.  Fun!  Reward is fishing gear (wootness) plus a little twist to be revealed later on.  Of course, as they’re ready to begin it starts pouring rain.  Jeff notes that this is true “Survivor” environmental conditions and I can’t argue with that.  Dude, this is like mud wrestling or something.  Amanda’s pants are falling down, hee!  I’m such a child sometimes, I swear.  Jamie’s top falls down!  Hee!  Amanda is trying to pull off Sharea’s bra!  This is TOTALLY mud wrestling.  So the “red tribe” wins.  And I have to take a moment to recover from the laughing fit I had just watching that.  Oooh, they get to snake someone from the yellow tribe to come live with them until the next challenge.  They steal Jamie, which I’m not entirely sure WHY.  But okay.  She gets a private note from Jeff to read later on.

So after the challenge, the yellow tribe’s camp is all but washed away in the rain.  Everyone is surprised by how much it rains.  Uh, duh?  And apparently the red tribe took Jamie because she’s a “ray of sunshine” and without her, the yellow tribe is demoralized.  Huh?  She reads her secret scroll.  It’s a clue to a hidden immunity idol hidden at the red tribe’s camp and she has to pick who to give it to without reading it herself.  It’s convoluted, but it makes sense.  Aaron and J-R start bickering, right in front of Jamie and the rest of the tribe is like, “dude, keep it down! not in front of the spy!”

Meanwhile, Ashley and Dave continue their bickering.  Is bickering the theme of the week here? Ashley is sure that Dave will shoot himself in the foot while I think she’s not doing herself any favors by confronting him all the time.  He’s a de facto sort of leader for a reason here, you know?

Leslie is struggling.  Missing her bible, feeling sick, tired.  Jamie wants to give her clue to the “weakest link” so she picks Leslie.  Pretty smart, considering.  Leslie is convinced The Lord gave her this clue as an answer to her prayers.  The idol is supposedly in plain site (and the camera zooms in on an ornate decoration hung on their gate) but she can’t figure out where it is.  So for whatever reason she decides to enlist Todd’s help to find the idol.  Yeah, doesn’t make sense to me either.  Todd is astounded, as well he should be.  Naturally, he wants to find it and then boot off Leslie so it’s all his.  DUH.  Oh Leslie.  I’m so disappointed.  But shows that Jamie did her job right, didn’t she?

Jamie is sent back to the yellow tribe at the immunity challenge.  The challenge this time is a mix of mental and physical, as is the style of these early immunity challenges.  Jamie sits out the challenge for the yellow tribe and Courtney and Leslie sit out for the red tribe.  Dave is letting the log make him his bitch, for whatever reason so the yellow tribe isn’t doing so hot.  The puzzle sort of kicks everyone’s ass a bit, but the red tribe ultimately triumphs and wins immunity.

I’m just gonna guess that the names being discussed at tribal council will be Ashley and Dave.  Who’s with me?  Dave apologizes to the tribe at large.  Which was a good move on his part, to put out that fire before it grew any larger.  Dave is confident he’s not going and it’s obvious that he thinks Ashley is a goner.  She’s trying to figure out a way to get the target off her back.  The rest of the tribe agrees that both of them are pretty much a big hot mess.  They do agree that one of them needs to go, if only to reduce the conflict at camp.

So at tribal council Dave is put forth as the tribe leader, which Ashley disagrees with.  I’m wondering if Ashley would have been better suited to “Big Brother” than “Survivor”.  I know which show *I’d* rather go on.  Anyhow, things sorta dissolve and this tribe is just on a destruction course if you ask me.  Ashley comes right and says she’s voting for Dave.  No dancing around the issue for her!  It’s the only vote he gets, unfortunately.  The rest go towards Ashley, and it’s a shame because she’s rather enjoyable, if a little confrontational.  I think she and Evil Dick would have gotten along GREAT.  That or they would have killed each other.  Anyhow, Ashley promises Dave she’ll be seeing him soon.  I’d argue with that but she’s probably right.  Unless he straightens up his act, that is.

And so ends another fabulous week of “Survivor”.  You’re free to go about your business now.

First up, we’ve got some recaps for you!

• Buddy TV
• TV Squad
• MSNBC
• Television without Pity

So yeah.  I missed last night’s show.  I just haven’t had time to watch it, and chose to watch “Biggest Loser” live instead.  So after tonight’s show, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to watch last night’s show, right?  Anyhow, the skinny is that the men to beat are Cameron Mathison (who I’m sort of rooting for) Albert and Helio.  And the one who got beat is Floyd.  Poor Floyd.  Mark wasn’t so hot either but he was charming with the judges which counted for something.

The judges really enjoyed Sabrina and Mark and invited them to reprise their now famous Cha Cha Cha.   Which, yeah, it’s really good.  Fun to watch and she looks like she’s having a great time.  I’ll be interested to see how she handles a ballroom dance.  She’s got the energy down for the latin dances, but how about grace for the waltz?  We’ll see.

The first couple definitely going onto the next round are, surprise surprise, Sabrina and Mark.  Second are Jennie and Derek.  Wee!  The women are doing well, aren’t they?  Still, we’ve got Josie who got an abysmal 16 points.   After the break we are treated to Dolly Parton singing “9 to 5″ and some of the professional dancers doing a little routine to it.  Dang, Dolly’s still got it.  And I’m not just talking about the singing here.  Yowza.

So who is safe next? Drew chats up the men backstage before Tom reveals the next safe bunch.  First off, we have Helio and Julianne.  Duh.  Secondly we have Albert and Ana (and I’m so happy, cuz he’s pretty hot).   Sabrina admits to being nervous about trying ballroom dancing, she wants to go right home and start working on it.  Albert promises to “keep is sassy”.  Yes please.   Now we get to watch famous tap dancer Sabien Glover do his thing.  And he’s pretty good.  Makes my feet hurt to watch him.

Aaaaand… another performance from Dolly Parton.  This one is off her new record and is not accompanied by any dancers.  This is followed by some fluffy filler about the “origins of dance”.  Cute though, and it keeps us distracted.  However, the inclusion of one of the Geico cavemen was pretty stupid.  Dude, that little fad is SO over.  Ahem.  Anyhow.  Next saved are Mel and Maksim and Cameron and Edyta.  Wee!

(more commercials)

We get to see a bunch of clips along with commentary from the judges about just how hard these celebrities have been working.  Or how hard they HAVEN’T been working, as the case may be.  Len may have jinxed things about talking about how important the judges decision is, how they influence what America thinks.  Mmm… sure about that?  I mean, I think it’s true, to an extent.  But let’s not go nuts here, either.

Jane and Tony are safe, THANK GOD.  I was worried.  Wayne and Cheryl?  Also safe (he’s got some DIE HARD fans, ya’ll).  Marie looks about 60 right here.  Marie and Jonathon are safe and I throw up in my mouth a little.  Josie had the lowest judging and voting scores from Monday night.  Not a big surprise.  Floyd and Karina are safe, despite him having the lowest judges score.  Mark and Kym have the lowest combined total from Tuesday night.  So who is going home?  Dun dun DUN!  (after the commercial!)

So we’re back and who is it?  To the surprise of NO ONE, it’s Josie and Alec.  I kinda feel bad for Alec.  Mark looks relieved but still worried.  I just don’t think the audience really knows or cares about who he is.  Josie has a little snarky comment for the judges, which you know, she had a right to.  I think Marie was worse.  (It’s the dress!)  Anyhow, that’s enough dancing for one week.  Tomorrow?  “Survivor”!

What’s with all the two hour shows? Is this ever going to whittle down to one hour? Because this is seriously cutting in my “House” viewing schedule. Because of “Biggest Loser” and “Dancing with the Stars” I’m unable to watch the season premiere of “House” tonight and that makes me very sad indeed. Anyhow. Moving on…

Recaps!

• Buddy TV
• NBC.com
• Television without Pity

Lets see, where were we? We start off with a sort of recap of all the seasons so far, which is strange but okay. But yeah, as they recap this season so far to date, I find the tears come to my eyes (again) so it works. I just want to see all these people do well, you know? So the red team is down two teammates and that puts them at a pretty big disadvantage. Anyhow, Alison gets the teams started off with a hefty temptation. Downstairs is a ton of food. And not healthy food either. Each person has to spend 4 minutes alone in that room with the food. The person who eats the most of that food, wins a “3 pound pass” to use at the next weigh in. Oooh, that’s just evil. And no one needs to know how much they ate so no accountability either. Daaaang. Tough one. Be strong, people!

Overall, they did really good. A nibble here, a nibble there. But most everyone walked away from the food. Surprisingly, the pizza was a huge draw to people. Neil, however, took it seriously and he started chowing down and packing in the food left and right. But he wanted it known that he wanted to win those three pounds FOR THE TEAM. Not for him, of course. Gah. Oh crap, then Patty thinks she needs to eat it for the team. This is not well, people. Blue team, you totally suck. So of course, it ended up being Patty as the biggest eater and Neil looked flabbergasted. Jerry was pissed, because everyone on the blue team apparently knew that Neil was the only one who should eat. I don’t think ANYONE should have eaten, but that’s just me. So everyone on blue team is yelling at each other. I’m with Kae, who thinks its stupid why they wanted that dumb pass in the first place. AMEN, SISTER. Patty felt bad, as she should. Bob worked them over but GOOD, trying to work off those extra calories.

Cut to Jillian working over the black team, making them sprint with heavy weights in their hands. Kim is also making her team sprint (albeit sans weights). Even the blue team gets in on the sprinting (with teammates on their backs!) Though whose bright idea it was for Jerry to ride on someone’s back, I have no idea. He fell off and got hurt but good. They’re all getting ready for the challenge. Jerry, obviously, has to sit out for the blue team. Instead of the three teams racing, there’s a fourth team they’re going to race against. The yellow team. Who are the yellow team? Three kids, a kindergartener, third grader and fourth grader. They have to beat the kid in each head, the Kindergarten Heat, 3rd Grade Heat and 4th Grade Heat. The reward is a call home. The 4th grader smoked them handily. They couldn’t even touch her. Phil beat the 3rd grader. The kindergartener won the last heat so the red team won the call home. So that’s the third challenge that the red team has won. Hopefully they’ll perform at the weigh in as well.

On the black team, Bill freaked out and yelled rather harshly at Isabeau who cried, of course. He apologized, thank goodness. Bad day or no, that’s not okay. But still, it’s the last chance workout and it’s time to kick it into high gear. Jillian works them HARD. Red team does the last chance workout as well, with Kim in her trademark camo pants. All the teams are working hard and all the trainers are obsessed with winning the weigh in. I’d like to see the red team do well this week.

So it’s time for the weigh in. Is it just me or do you think they probably shouldn’t play this “elephant stomping” music as the teams walk into the weigh in? Might be poor taste. Anyhow we get the usual talk up from Alison. This show definitely does NOT need to be two hours long. This is just goofy. I’m sure it’s 2 hours simply because there’s so many people. But I’m hoping for just one hour next week. Anyhow. The black team does decent. The blue team does atrociously. Even with the three pound pass (see?? it wasn’t worth it!). It’s down to the red team and they not only beat out the blue team, but they beat the BLACK team and won the weigh in. You go, guys! The blue team lost and they need to send a member packing. Patty is the biggest loser and is safe, otherwise I think she’d be going home.

So the team gets talking and apparently are thinking Jerry should go.  Which is a little flawed logic if you ask me.  Kae is another name that comes up and that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me either.  She may be the smallest, but she’s lost a lot of weight so far and has a lot more to lose.  Anyhow, the elimination is extremely emotional and there’s a lot of tears.  Nicole gets one vote, Neil gets one vote, and Jerry gets three votes and goes home.  Poor Jerry.  Alison pretty much calls it like it is, saying Jerry is the team captain and has lost more weight than anyone else but he’s sent packing.  Jerry is disappointed and says he doesn’t think the Biggest Loser will be on the blue team.  Ouch.

So how does he do once he gets home?  Well, let’s just say WOW.  He looks BUFF.  He’s lost a total of 88 pounds and he looks great.  WOW.  You go, Jerry.  You show ‘em.

I missed the first half of this, so I’m not going to do my “Big Brother” style recap for this episode, unfortunately. I will give you a list of recap sites so you can catch up if you missed out (like I did! *sheepish look*). And I’ll give you my impressions from where I picked up.

• Buddy TV
• TV Squad
• Television Without Pity
• MSNBC 

When I picked up, the “Cheetah Girl” had just finished dancing and was getting her scores. So I go to see Marie Osmond’s intro and performance. While I kind of enjoyed her energy, her dancing I did not. Nor did I enjoy her dress. The slit in the side I found very distracting and I was constantly afraid I’d end up accidentally seeing something I didn’t want to. I thought the judges were AWFULLY kind when they spoke to her, but luckily their scores reflected (mostly) her performance. They were 7, 7, and 7 for a total of 21.

Next, was Mel B, of “Spice Girls” fame. She’s a card, that one. I could see where her personality would get annoying, but so far I’m enjoying her. And her performance was a LOT of fun and I really dug her dress. I missed what her scores were because my husband was delivering to me a peach crisp for desert at the time (and who wouldn’t be distracted by peach crisp?).

After the break, we get to see Jane Seymour. I adore her. I used to be a big “Dr. Quinn” fan so I’d like to see her do well. She’s very excited to be on the show and I think she has some great potential. Her dress…. eh. Not so much. It’s a little PINK and the length is pretty long but it’s still a lot better than Marie’s. Her dancing, however, seems awesome. Not terribly energetic, but the foxtrot doesn’t seem to call for much energy. The judges had some pretty nice things to say too, very elegant and beautiful. Watch the turns. Their scores? 8, 8, and 8 for a total of 24. Not shabby.

So that sums up the women. Tomorrow, we see the men. Who am I most interested in? Cameron Mathison because I used to be a big “All My Children” fan, at least until they killed off Dixie. I’m also interested to see Wayne Newton. The Indy car racer totally makes me think of Sascha Baron Cohen’s character from “Talladega Nights”. Don’t you think? Anyhow. Vote now for your favorites.  Sabrina is in first with 26 points, with Mel B and Jane in second with 24 points.  Apparently Josie stunk up the joint and got 16 points.  My husband (who saw her perform) says she did MUCH better than Marie Osmond.  So we’ll see.  Anyhow, that’s it from me, later taters!

It’s always fun to watch the first “Survivor” episode of the season.  You get to see these awkward people dumped out in the wilderness and learn who the nutjobs are (for the most part), you get to hear Jeff do the same old spiel he does pretty much every season, and you get to enjoy some pretty fantastic scenery.  And last night was no disappointment in that arena.  First off, let me get you a list of recaps of the show and then I’ll give you some of my quick impressions.

• CBS.com’s recap, video clips and full episode video
• TV Squad
• Watching Survivor here on 451Press
• MSNBC.com
• Television without Pity

Whew.  Now that that’s out of the way… what did I think?  I think the location is absolutely stunning.  Beautiful landscape and the buildings (few though they are) are beautiful.  Very nice!  Leslie got on my nerves first thing because she couldn’t take part in the welcoming ceremony.  Simply because she felt like they were worshiping Buddha and she’s all for Jesus, yo!  Ugh.  Way to make yourself stick out like a sore thumb first thing, lady.  You better hope your tribe gets immunity.  Then there’s the stuck up waitress from New York whose name escapes me at the moment.  I don’t mind her near as much but she’s gonna have to get off her high horse.  I know these people are a bunch of dorks, but you gotta adapt because otherwise they’ll vote your butt out.

Chicken annoys me from the get go because of his accent.  Sounds awful, I know.  I’m pretty ashamed of myself.   But I can’t deny that watching him made my skin want to crawl off my body.  I actually kind of liked Ashley, simply because I’m interested to see what she can do with herself once she gets over this little bug she has (and I’m sure she will, someone ALWAYS gets sick in the first couple days).  I like the grave digger guy and Frosti too.  Someday I’m going to be better with these names, I promise.

Anyhow, Chicken got the boot last night and I was a little relieved.  I didn’t want it to be Ashley or Peih-Gee quite yet.  It’s so nice when these reality shows do what I want them to do, you know?

I’m not going to go into a big recap of “The Biggest Loser” from Tuesday night simply because my attention that night was held by “Big Brother” and while I did record the last half hour, I didn’t jot down any specific notes while I was watching.  I will say this: the red team has ISSUES.  Kim had better get those folks going is all I can say.  The blue team rocks and I kinda adore all of them.  They’ve been working hard and it shows.  And the black team.  What can you say about the black team?  Jillian scares me.  But I love how they came back and I love how they pretty much just smoked the other teams.  That was awesome.  I’m looking forward to the weeks ahead, to see what becomes of these people.  It’s fascinating to watch and definitely one of the better reality shows on television.  I agreed that Lezlye needed to go this week, perhaps more than Amy.  Certainly more than Phil.  What were they thinking?  I just have a feeling the red team is going to continue this downward spiral until they’re absorbed by the remaining teams.  At any rate, expect that I’ll be back to recapping this show in full style starting next week.

Onto other news: Did anyone catch “Kitchen Nightmares” last night?  Was it not FABULOUS?  Something that I always felt kept me from completely enjoying Gordon’s acerbity in “Hell’s Kitchen” was the fact that it often felt like his berating of the contestants was akin to leading lambs to slaughter.  However, in this new show, he’s more evenly matched among egos nearly as big as his.  BIGGER in some cases, like last night’s Peter.  That guy was a piece of work.  I actually thought Gordon went extremely easy on him and everyone else (but him especially).  It’s a fascinating show.  If you aren’t aware, basically Gordon is sent to these ailing restaurants to see what needs to be changed and to basically whip them back into shape.  I found it highly entertaining and will definitely be tuning in next week for more fun.

If you missed it, you probably don’t care.  But just in case, here are the recaps!

• Big Brother Craze
• Buddy TV
• MSNBC
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

Previously, we saw exactly how Dick and Daniele took over the house, starting with no one being able to evict either one of them early on like they should have.  Dangit.  Shoot, we’re all here to see the reveal of “America’s Player” anyhow, not who wins.  Right?

The jury had a rough choice.  We get to see them gather in sequester to debate who they think should win.  But first, who will be the final jury member?  They ponder it and while Jen is espousing how much she hates Dick, Zach shows up.  Everyone’s pretty bummed.  They’re all pretty devastated by the choice.  Eric learns he needs to campaign for Dick, which is little surprise.  But the jury really seems to detest the idea of giving Dick the reward, especially Dustin and Zach.  Eric meanwhile defends Dick’s (somewhat underhanded) tactics, that nasty as they were, they worked.  And he wasn’t sniveling, at least.   Eric starts making some sense to them, and they wonder if they can get past Dick’s deplorable personality to the fact that he probably deserves to win.  And how fierce a competitor was Daniele?  She was on it regarding vetos and HoH, but then so was Dick.  Jessica doesn’t see her being any better than her dad at the game.  It’s a pretty interesting discussion with good points all around.  Dustin makes me chortle by saying “it’s either Evil or Evil Spawn.”  Too right.

Now we get to see the jurors give their big questions to the Donatos and Dustin goes first.  I’d go through the answers but… the recaps sum it up much better than I could and the answers aren’t much different than you’d expect them to be.  Blah blah blah.  Interesting is that neither feel the express need to kiss any jury butt.  But I think that underlines that these two full intend to share the winnings with each other (even though they’re not supposed to) and even they could care less which one of them wins.  BOO!  But at least Dick is honest.  Zach actually asked a pretty interesting question and got some interesting answers.  Daniele tries to be the biggest diplomat of the two but even then… it’s a tough call.  What’s fun is that Daniele finds something to somehow be pissed at Dick about regarding his speech to the jury and he’s justifiably annoyed.  There’s just no winning with that girl, is there?

And now?  The JURY!  Which means we’ll get the big reveal, FINALLY.  At least I think so.  Julie makes some noises about a final word before voting so we’ll see.  Maybe they’ll wait until the winner has been “crowned”.  Damnit.  Back to the show!  (we had commercials)  Blah blah about how it’s been in the house.  Let’s move on.  Let’s VOTE.  Each juror gives a little “reasoning” before they insert their key matching who they would like to win.  More of a “statement” actually.  Some are snarky, some are congratulatory.  Eric goes first, then Jameka, Dustin, Jen, then Zach, Amber and finally Jessica.  But before we get to see the votes, we have more commercials!  Wee!

But wait!  First we have to speak to Dick and Daniele’s family, in the person of Vincent (son and brother) and Charlotte (mother and grandmother).  And then we get to speak briefly to the first five evicted houseguests and they all have pretty trite things to say.  YAWN.  Let’s do something interesting, shall we?  PLEASE?  Ah yes, time to reveal “the big secret”.  Yay!   HEE!  Julie opens it up and shows the video of Eric explaining himself as “America’s Player”.  Dustin takes the news very well, considering.  Everyone looks shocked, but no one looks too upset, I think.  What did Jessica think?  She’s surprised, but I don’t think she’s mad.  She says she’s not mad at least.  What did Dick and Daniele think?  Dick specifically, since it was America’s vote that kept him in the house.  Daniele thinks it’s hilarious so maybe she doesn’t hold the vote against Nick against him?  And Dustin?  He thinks it’s fabulous even though it was deadly to him.  And Jen?  She now realizes that America was childish, not Dick (or Eric).  Ha!  Okay, she’s mildly amusing.

Okay, next the votes will be revealed!  Wee! Cut to the audience where we get a hysterical shot of a guy yawning.  I know, dude.  I know.   So the results are: Eric=Dick.  Jameka=Daniele.  Dustin=Dick.  Jen=Daniele.  Zach=Dick.  Amber=Dick. At this point, he is the winner.  So what is Jessica’s vote?  Dude, I wanna know!  Cuz I’m sure as hell not surprised by Dick winning.  So basically, AMERICA, this is all on you for picking to boot Dustin in week 6.  Ya’ll suck.  Everyone congratulates Dick and it’s basically just a massive throng.  More after the break.

Julie thankfully reveals that Jessica voted for Dick.  So she enjoyed him more in the house (based on her comments) than Daniele!  Too funny.  It doesn’t matter, Daniele says and I couldn’t agree more.

Sorry I wasn’t around yesterday!  I was away for the weekend and that trip turned into a family emergency.  I wasn’t home until yesterday evening.  Luckily the “Big Brother” episode on Sunday night was a recap show and I haven’t missed the finale at all (It’s tonight ya’ll!  Prepare for some liveblogging fun!).  But before we get into *those* festivities, first I must point out that the Primetime Emmy’s were Sunday night!  And reality TV has it’s own award during the big show.  However, it hasn’t mattered in recent years because “The Amazing Race” wins it EVERY TIME.  And this year was no different.  Our pals behind the big “Race” took home the Emmy yet again, even when up against such powerhouse shows as “Dancing with the Stars”, “American Idol”, “Top Chef” and “Project Runway.”  That marks the fifth year this show has won, and the fifth year this award has been in existence.  No other show has ever brought it home.   Somehow this makes me more depressed that we won’t be seeing another installment until January.   At any rate, good as “Race” is, I think it might be soon time to honor another reality show.  What do you think?

First off, we have our recaps.  You know it!

• Big Brother Craze
• Buddy TV
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

Remember where we left off, with the three remaining houseguests clinging to their keys in an endurance competition?  That’s where we pick up again.  It looks brutal.  Daniele starts freezing as soon as the water is turned on, but to her credit she gave it a good go.  Every now and then, the water would turn out, they’d get mud spat at them and then a clodu of dust would engulf them.  FUN!  Then back to more water.  Daniele starts shivering so hard I think she’s going to vibrate clean off her carrot there.  Is it possible that I almost feel bad for her?  But then she tells Dick to distract Zach and he starts to berate Zach.  Zach handily ignores him.  Is that Dick’s only weapon? Pissing people off? Dick starts getting pissed that Zach is STILL ignoring him.  Drives him nuts.  LOL.  Back to shivering Daniele.  Dick does look concerned for her, to his credit.  Then… she falls off.  Wrapped in a towel, she continues to sob.  Girl sounds like she’s having a nervous breakdown.

Zach stops ignoring Zach so much and starts laughing at him.  Actually, no, he’s IMITATING him.  Ha!  Dick looks annoyed so point goes to Zach on that.  Daniele emerges wrapped in a blanket to watch the carnage.  They’re five hours in, and I’m amazed they’re both making it this far.  Dick looks more worse for the wear than Zach does, but they have both got to be feeling it.  Seven hours in, Dick is failing.  Daniele obviously feels bad for him.  She tries to pep talk him into not quitting.  Zach is starting to shake too, but I doubt he’s feeling as bad as Dick.  Okay, I hate to admit, but he’s getting my respect here.  Cuz this whole challenge looks like it sucks hard.  She tells him it’s okay.  She’s reassuring him.  So at 7 hours and 32 minutes he quits.  Poor guy looks whipped.  And Zach wins round one.

We get right back into round two, which stars Dick and Daniele.  Whoever wins this round will face off in round 3 with Zach.  Daniele comes out in a bikini so this involves yet more water.  It’s underwater puzzle solving!  Wee!  I think Daniele has got to have an advantage at this one, but time will tell.  She’s first and apparently she isn’t very good at puzzles like this.  Doh!  Now it’s Dick’s turn.  He checks to make sure the water is warm this time.  Heh.  As sore as he must be, he gets right to work.  He does surprisingly well.  And from the editing, it looks like he does it quick too.  Quick enough to beat his daughter?  He sure does!  He did it in almost half the time that Daniele did.  So he’ll be facing off against Zach in round 3.

Zach remarks how amazing it would be to beat Dick in a mental challenge.  Uh, yeah.  It would be amazing because I don’t think Zach stands too much chance here.  And we cut to the live portion of the show.  Julie asks them some pathetic questions… blah blah blah.  Yes, let’s get on with it.  But first?  Another peek at the jury house!  Wee! (after the break, that is)

Eric and Jessica are still flirting pretty hardcore.  Dustin and Amber remark on how goofy they are together, they’re so in love.  Then, we get to see Jameka enter the jury house.   Everyone is upset to see Jameka because they know this means Dick and Daniele are both back there still.  Eric was not surprised at all.  Dustin, speaking of Eric, mentions that Jessica and Eric are making up for lost time (and enjoying a video free environment) and the walls are thin.  Hmm!  We get to see Jameka’s DVD and Zach’s big power move.  Everyone’s pretty impressed.

So who will be in the final two?  Round three will decide that.   They’re quizzed about things the houseguests have said after eviction.  So each contestant has to basically guess, based on what they know about them.  (The question about Jen cracked me up, of course it was “herself”!)  Dick got a leg up early in the competition and held onto that lead and won the shebang.  He’s the new HoH.  The Donatos did it.  Daaaang.  It’s all well and good, but how is this going to make a two hour finale on Sunday at all interesting?  Either way, no matter who actually wins it, they’ll both have the money.  Boo.

Zach actually asks the Donatos to invest in his inventions?  What?  Did that make sense to anyone else?  So predictably, Dick boots Zach from the house, leaving a Donato Ruled Household.  They’re ecstatic, Zach is pragmatic.  He’s visibly relieved to be out of there, as I would be too.  Zach admits to riding coattails.  And that’s why he’s out right now.  Better that he is, I’m sure, because riding coattails is to be frowned upon.  So, all that’s left now is to tell Eric who he should vote for to win Big Brother (and campaign for in the jury house).  Tough choice.

Who do I think will or should win?  I guess Dick.  I mean, it’s a tough call.  But I just don’t see rewarding Daniele’s bratty behavior, you know?  At any rate, I hope to get up my thoughts on the finale Monday morning, but I’m going to be out of town and actually at a wedding during the finale so we’ll see how it goes.  Regardless, it’s been an interesting season, hasn’t it?

This is a great show, and it’s not about the money at the end of the day. The money is just part of it. This was an emotional show, for a premiere. I found myself caring about each and everyone’s stories and getting teared up at the drop of a hat. Sure, that could be because I’m pregnant and a little prone to weepiness. But I don’t think so. This was a great show.

First off, let me get you set up with some recaps, a la what I’ve done on this season of “Big Brother”:

• NBC.com’s recap w/photos
• Television without Pity

We started out with 18 contestants and they are introduced to the “new” host, Allison Sweeney from “Days of our Lives”. I’m happy to see her replacing Caroline Rhea because I never cared much for her. But time will tell if Allison is a good host or not. She tells the contestants they need to run down the hill to meet the two trainers Bob and Kim (who have just jumped out of a plane). The first two people there become the first leaders of each team, red and blue. And those are the only people who are guaranteed to stay because Allison tells them that six people will be going home. Better get moving!

The “old guy”, 62 year old Jerry and Phil the former football player make it to the trainers first. I’m not going to outline who was chosen and who was “eliminated” because at this point the names aren’t as important. That will become important as the weeks wear on, but right now, I can’t possibly keep them all straight. Suffice it to say, the six “castoffs” feel pretty bad. They watch the rest of the contestants board a bus to the Biggest Loser Campus, tearfully. But fear not! Because speeding up the road on a black motorcycle, all clad in black, is Jillian. Remember her from past seasons? The remaining contestants are extremely happy to see her. That is, until she starts cracking the whip. And boy, does she crack it hard! It’s her goal to make the blue and red teams RUE the day they tried to send these folks home. Because the newly formed “black team” will be rejoining the rest of the group in two weeks time, hopefully showing off their impressive progress.

If you’ve seen the show before, then you know how all this goes. We see the contestants strain under the sudden, grueling training schedule. We watch the trainers coach them on how to make the proper food choices and try to impress upon them how awful their former eating habits truly were. At one point, a woman on the red team named Amber actually asks to go home. This unnerves Kim the trainer and angers her team. The blues seem to be doing pretty well and Bob shows glee when contestant Patty is pushed to the point of puking, certain that this is an indication he is going in the right direction with this particular group. The reds win the “reward” (letters from home) by pulling an airplane (yes, an entire airplane) over the finish line first, but the blues smoke them handily in the final weigh in.

Most surprisingly, the trimmest woman in the game (who is on the blue team), lost the most weight of all the women and the oldest man in the game (remember Jerry?) lost the most weight that anyone has lost in a one week window in the history of the show. And he was, of course, also a blue. So yeah, the reds had no chance. And remember Amber wanting to go home during training? Her fellow teammates round on her about that and even Kim gets into the action with how her attitude really disappointed her. The rest of her team had a good point, if she wasn’t that committed, there were six other people who were “sent home” that would have been THRILLED to have been in her place. For shame, Amber. So, unsurprisingly, she’s sent packing.

As of the time of airing, Amber has lost 65 pounds from the initial weigh in, most of that while at home. She hopes to lose more by the time of the finale. She has a ways to go, and I hope for her sake that she gets there.  At least it seems her attitude has improved.  In the meantime, I’m really looking forward to next week’s show and the big reveal of the black team.  I hope they shock the heck out of the red and blue teams!

You know what’s first!  It’s the recaps!  Catch up at these lovely sites:

• Big Brother Craze
• Buddy TV
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

So you know what has happened since we last saw our favorite houseguests?  NOTHING.  Not a damned thing.  Okay, well, that’s a lie.  They had the veto competition.  But we saw that coming a mile away and the outcome was less than surprising.  So yeah.  Gee, maybe we could have avoided a completely boring final four if the Donatos had just kept Eric and Jessica.  Dumbasses.  Well, I guess you can’t blame them for wanting to completely cream the competition instead of winning out of merit, huh? After all, that $500,000 is looking pretty tasty right about now.

As expected, the Donatos had little shit fits over being nominated.  The Donatos are smug regarding Zach’s promise to take them down.  It’s true, because it is too late to take them down.  But their attitudes are pretty awful.  Zach is proud of finally having the guts to take them out.  Yeah, but it’s TOO LATE.  What about last week when he was HoH?  Why didn’t he put them up then?  They would have been TOAST.  But no.  Too little, way too late.  So while the smugness drives me nuts, it’s true.  And I hate that it’s true.

Jameka is happy to be “saved” but she has to know that it all hinges on Veto.  Because her butt isn’t safe yet.  I’d say the chances are 50/50, but even judging from Zach’s decent showing of late, I doubt they can outplay the Donatos.  Admiring Zach’s spirit though.  You go boy!  We’ll warm a spot in the jury house just for you!  sigh

Yay!  We get a peek in at the jury house!  I’ve been waiting for this.  We get to see the various jury members arrive, one by one starting with Dustin.  The house is NIIIIICE.  So sipping a martini, he watches Jen roll up and he laughs a good one.  Gah, it’s awful having to watch Jen again.  Luckily, it seemed like she was on good behavior.  Then Amber arrived.  Dustin was horrified to see her.  Cue the Wahmber.  Damn, haven’t missed that either.  Jessica shows up and I’m wondering where Eric is.  Did they not arrive together?  Bummer.  But wait, there’s Eric!  And everyone seems shocked as hell to see him, especially Jessica.  Daaaaang.  She’s happy to see him in the jury house though, because they get to hang out together again.  Eric shows them a little video of how he got evicted.  And he’s very excited to be able to reveal he was America’s Player, at the finale I’m supposing.   Obviously, they’re hoping Jameka is in the final two.  Right.  Don’t count on it.   Aww, that was cool, getting to see them all.

Zach and Jameka are sweating the veto.  Dick refers to them as “idiots”, which again is pretty much true, but STILL.  Meanwhile, Zach and Jameka are praying.  Which is a sure fire sign that they’ll fail.  I’ve seen this before in these shows.  Nothing against praying, mind you.  But this doesn’t bode well for our “good guys”.  The competition starts and it goes about as you’d expect it to.  Jameka had the right idea but was more focused on accuracy than doing it quickly.  Zach was clueless and had no idea what he was doing for the first few minutes.  Dick finished first but got one wrong.  Daniele had the best strategy and… she got it right.  Done.  She’s got veto.  BOO!  So yeah, writing is on the wall.  She starts screaming like a horror movie victim, I swear to you.  Jameka knows she’s gone.  GOD.

God, how lame can you get?  I guess the only thing this show has going for it now is watching the jury rip into these fools at the final two.   That should be fun.  Dick is pretty much being a… dick.  He’s basically stuffing everything Zach ever said to him back in his face.  And Zach would be golden, except that he DR’s that he’s smarter than Dick and that his mind is “like a Samurai sword.”  Oy.  Damn.  This is agony.  CBS, have mercy.

Cut to the live show, and not a moment too soon.  Blah blah blah.  Duh.  Daniele takes Dick off, since DUH she’s totally safe anyhow.  It was just ceremonious.  So Jameka is up on the block.  And we go right into eviction!  No point in delaying the inevitable.  This has been a dull, dull week already.  And guess who’s going home?  Guess!  I bet you can’t guess.  Dur.  Bye, Jameka.  You were a good person.  A bad player, as it turns out, but a good person.  She deserves, at the very least, to be delivered from the Donatos presence if nothing else.

Jameka almost looks relieved to be out of there.  She’s full of cleansing sighs and smiles.  I would be too, come to think of it.  She interviews predictably with Julie and I’m already wondering what the jury’s reaction will be when she shows up on their doorstep.  The taped “goodbyes” are… YAWN.  Do I smell jury pandering?

I have a feeling that Zach in the house is like leaving a soft, cuddly bunny rabbit among a pack of wolves.  Next up?  HoH challenge!  And it’s endurance in “round 1″, unsurprisingly.  So we fade out on the remaining houseguests clinging to their keys.  I want to wish Zach the best, but I don’t know.  I just don’t know.

(I would have spoken about “The Biggest Loser” tonight as well, but I had to record it because of “Big Brother”. Look back for my impressions and thoughts on the premiere in tomorrow’s post after I’ve had a chance to watch it.) 

Truer words aren’t spoken: when it comes to reality TV, there generally isn’t a whole lot brewing under the surface.  When someone wins “Survivor” or “Big Brother” or even “The Amazing Race”, there is generally satisfaction for the audience and the winners but the audience is rarely inspired by the winning contestant.  Much less by the losing contestants!  But NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” is different.  Sure, there is a competition in place, but every contestant walks away a winner, with an arsenal of weight loss tips and having already loss a varying amount of weight.  And, perhaps, a new outlook on life.

MSNBC.com recently did a story about this, about how “The Biggest Loser” inspires and goes beyond mere competition.   The article talks about what makes this show work and what we can expect in the new season which starts tonight at 8pm.  Are you planning on tuning in?  Are you going to be one of the many audience members who tries to lose weight at home?

Once again, we have recaps for thems that missed it:

• Big Brother Craze
• TV Squad
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

Now, onto the show.  Remember how Dick and Daniele were big ol’ traitors?  Yeah, those were good times.  I’m pretty sick that Zach and Jameka are part of the final four.  That ain’t right, ya’ll.  It’s confirmed that Dick did give Jameka “the deal” and she took it.  Obviously, according to everything that happened on Thursday.  Oh, it’s diabolical to be sure.  And I suppose it’s strategic gameplay but I’m just not sure how it was the best move to make, you know?  But Dick and Daniele are big time hopped up on their power and success.  And I don’t see their “high” ending until they’re both in the final two.  Because you know they’ll get there.  I mean, I suppose Zach could squeak in there somehow, but… I don’t know.  BAH.  I’m just disgusted.

So Daniele must be so happy now that she finally got Eric out.  She never “forgave” him for evicting Nick.  Puh-lease.  So everyone stands around and congratulates themselves on being the final four.  Jameka and Zach shouldn’t take a lick of credit for that, I swear to you.  Talk about coat-tails.  Anyhow, Dick and Daniele immediately start conspiring to vote Zach out as soon as possible.  Daniele even goes so far as to compare Zach to “that guy who calls and you don’t answer and you listen to his voicemail”.  NICE.  God, what a bitch.

Time for the HoH competition!  Yep, another one.  It’s a “memory” sort of challenge regarding 14 pictures the HG’s checked out on the memory wall.  Everyone pretty much played it with everything they had.   And then Zach won.   Here’s his chance to shake things up!  Bad news is: It’s a little too late for that.  Oh well, better luck next time!  Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Daniele is desperately depressed that she lost the veto.  And for some reason, she thinks they should have kept Amber.  I guess because then Zach would have been gone?  But Eric would have had another ally.  She’s SUCH a whiner.  Dude, and she needs her roots done too.  Just sayin’.

Who wants to see Zach’s HoH room??  Not me.  But, dang it, I have to see it anyhow.  Daniele and Dick look annoyed with having to see his room and, you know, not HERS.  Boo.  I’m saying good on Zach.  I mean, he’s dumb as a post, yes.  But at this point he’s not Dick and Daniele and I sorta enjoy watching them squirm a little bit.  I do have to say that Jameka is definitely not deserving of Final 3 or Final 2.  Heck, not even Final 4. What has she done in this game?  NOTHING.  At least Zach has won some competitions.  Even if he is only here because he was largely inoffensive and a brainless toadie.

Daniele campaigns for her dad and herself in Zach’s new room.  Unfortunately, her arguments pretty much fall on deaf ears.  Because her insistence that no one could win against Dick in the final 2 is pretty laughable.  I mean, Zach, yes.  But NO ONE?  I doubt that.  I think Jameka could.  I think Daniele could.   She insists also that everyone in the house wanted to evict him but it was her and Dick that saved him.  He complains about being an outcast, how no one was his friend.  Boo hoo.  Daniele thinks it’s incredulous that he thinks he could win the game.  I think it’s amazing that she’s so stuck up.  So there you have it.  She’s mad because he’s being “smug” (like anyone else in the house maybe?) and she hates him SO MUCH right now.  Dick makes some remarks about how stupid he is and while I agree, it’s pretty tasteless when you’re saying it just because someone is out maneuvering you.

Honestly, I think this is Zach’s best move.  It’s not going to WORK (unless the skies open up and Jameka wins a freaking POV competition for a change), but it’s his best move.  Because I don’t think it was guaranteed that Dick and Daniele would take him to the final 3.  I think they already had that promised to Jameka.  And, uh hello, weren’t they talking about getting rid of Zach just before the HoH competition?  So whatever.  Good on you, Zach.  You’re redeemed somewhat in my eyes.

So after much ado and little suspense (I mean, who didn’t see this coming??), the nomination ceremony starts and Jameka’s is the only key to be had.  Voila!  Dick and Daniele are on the block!  I don’t imagine they’ll both STAY on the block, but it was worth a shot.  Like I mentioned before, it’d be an act of god to have Jameka win POV.  Dick and Daniele are pretty pissed off to be nominated but they can’t have been surprised.  And they do deserve to be squirming a little bit at this point.  Even if they end up having the game sewn up, they deserve this right now.  Tune in Tuesday to see POV and eviction.  Wee!

Wow, talk about a lot of news! If you missed this most awesome night, check these recaps:

• Big Brother Craze
• TV Squad
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

Buckle your seatbelts, everyone! Big Brother is in motion and it’s not going to stop until two people have left the building! I’m irrationally excited about this, even though my favorites look to be in dire jeopardy. So let’s get going, shall we? Dick starts off the duplicity by telling Jameka she’s going home this week, causing her to be rather upset in the DR later. She tells Jessica, who in turn tells Eric. They both feel pretty secure and why shouldn’t they? They’re allied with Dick and Daniele and have been told that the target is Jameka. ‘Nuff said, right? Alas, those Donato’s are tricky folks.

Eric’s task is to vote Jameka. Thank goodness. Eric asks Daniele point blank if Jessica is going home. Daniele point blank lies to his face. Because of course they want Eric to be blindsided by her departure so he cannot properly compete for HoH. GRR. So we get right into things and each nominee speaks their piece. Did Dick make the offer to Jameka? Did she take it? Hard to tell from her speech but I’ll say yes. Jessica is near tears during her speech, I think she knows. GAH. Eric votes first for Jameka and Dick and Daniele predictably vote for Jessica. BOO! Turds. So Jessica is being sent packing.

Yeah, see, no one looks surprised. Eric and Jessica share a big hug and I hear Eric say, “I’m sorry.” She hugs Jameka, she’s crying. Daniele and Dick have hidden themselves, along with Zach. TURDS! Don’t even say goodbye or anything! Eric is not surprised. Says he’s not upset, he understands. But he looks shaken. Jameka is crying. Eric kinda shames Daniele for not telling him when he asked. Good! He should! Julie asks some anti-Eric questions from Jessica which is sort of surprising. Who’s side are you on here, CBS? Jessica does say she loves Eric and her feelings are real. The goodbye messages are pretty good. Eric’s message is just gut-wrenching. Poor guy. Honestly, these two have risen to the top and will be favored, I’m pretty sure, once this is all over.

So the HoH competition begins. Only Dick, Daniele and Eric are competing since Jameka has one more week that she can’t compete. I wish the best for Eric but Dick wins out. Dangit. This is going from bad to worse isn’t it? At least he’s only HoH for like, 30 minutes. Ha! Or you know, until Sunday at the most. I think? Shoot, who knows. I give up. This whole next week’s schedule sorta has me confused so I might need a minute to figure it all out. Apparently, America wants Daniele to get nominated (you think so??), but like HELL Dick is going to put her up on the block. So yeah, whatever. We all know Jameka and Eric are going up. DUH.

We come back to a lot of whispering that of course no one can hear or understand. And as if it’s even a question about what Dick is going to do. Eric looks nervous, he knows what’s going to happen. Dick makes noises about how much this sucks and nominates Jameka and Eric. Ya think so?? It’s all “game”. Which, yeah, of course it is. Still sucks though. Veto is next! Wee! Shoot, that was a short segment there, wasn’t it? Back to commercials!

Blah blah, back to the show, time for veto competition! Jameka is disqualified but it appears it’s arguable whether she should have been or not. Zach wins veto and of course, everything will continue as planned. GAH. Why NOT keep Eric at this point? What threat is he without Jessica in the house? Against him in the final two, he’s not likely to be a risk. In fact, Dick would stand a chance against him and this is DICK we’re talking about. So taking out Eric is excessive in my opinion.

So will Zach use veto? NOPE! Shocker! See ya, Eric. Nice to know ya. Suckers. It’d serve them right if we ended up with Zach and Jameka as the final two. It totally would. And then I’d have to go shoot myself because OH MY GOD. So Jameka and Eric plead their cases and I’m more convinced than ever that Jameka took the Donato’s deal. Eric obviously feels the stink of Dick and Daniele’s betrayal. Zach votes Eric, Daniele votes Eric. SHOCKER. Boo. Ya’ll suck.

Eric gives Jameka a big hug and (wow) hugs and says farewell to everyone else too. Jameka looks like she feels a little shamed as Daniele hugs her and YEP, looks like she made a deal with the devil. And knows it too. Shoot, Eric didn’t even have time to pack his bags! Raw! Eric says he’s at peace with everything. Being America’s Player was tough on his strategy, because he would have chosen to do things differently. Amber and Dustin would have stayed longer, Dick and Daniele would have been gone. Oh, and Zach. Just shows that America is pretty stupid when it comes to BB strategy. He says he didn’t have a showmance, he had genuine feelings and that Jessica was a “perfect partner”. Good show, Eric. He got $40,000. Not too bad. BOO.

BOO!!! America, you all officially suck. If Zach wins Big Brother I’m gonna hurt someone.

As always, we’ve got recaps first for those of you who need a little “catching up”.

• Big Brother Craze
• TV Squad
• Television without Pity
• CBS.com’s recap and full episode video

You’ve gotta admit one thing, love them or hate them, the Donato’s have been playing a very smart game.  If they do happen to make it to the final four, they’ll have earned it.   I happen to agree with Jameka, that Zach should have nominated Dick and Daniele for a smarter strategic move.  Because they are HARD players.  But… it is what it is.  Jameka and Jessica commiserate their fates together.  The best scenario right now is Eric winning POV and taking Jessica down.  Then Zach would have to put up Dick or Daniele and everyone would claw themselves to vote one of them out.  Ta da!  But because that would be the good thing to happen, you know it won’t.

Meanwhile, Zach and Daniele pat themselves on the back over the nominations.  GAH.   Okay, being smart is one thing.  But being self-congratulatory and smug is pretty tasteless. Boo.  Eric, however, feels enormously responsible because he feels he pressured her to make nominations that she didn’t want to and now those nominations have put her at risk.  He is literally near tears.  And yeah, that has a little to do with her position, but it’s not his fault Zach is a dingus and Daniele and Dick are conniving bastards.

Cut to “happier” times.  The houseguests are gossiping over dinner and Jessica tells a silly little story about wanting to be the first female president or a waitress.  Of course, then Daniele is insulted by the insinuation that being a waitress isn’t a noble career.  Sometimes, I think Daniele is better off when she keeps her mouth shut.  Dick calls her on it and she proceeds to get pissy (as usual).  I’m with Dick on his frustration here.  She’s kind of proven herself to be a stuck up, selfish, little brat at times, hasn’t she?  She’s really disrespectful to Dick, and he’s been going out of his way to be decent to her. Which is to say a lot, when you’re talking about Dick.

Here’s the veto competition!  Janelle sneaks into the backyard while everyone is sleeping and then Zach wakes them all up.  Everyone’s playing, so that’s all good.  It’s all pink and barf barf barf.  I used to like Janelle, but all-stars changed my opinion of her.  Anyhow, Eric makes a comment about how a picture of Janelle looks like Miss Piggy before knowing that Janelle was standing behind the display.  Doh!  But it was a pretty mild comment and not made in malice or anything.   Anyhow, the competition is a picture scramble sort of thing and blah blah, boring.  I do have to say, Dick flirting with Janelle was pretty gag-inducing.  GAG.  Actually, both Dick and Daniele’s slobbering over Janelle was pretty embarrassing.  Blah blah blah… Daniele won.  BOO!  CBS, you suck.

Yeah, getting SUPER tired of Daniele pretending like Zach is a BFF simply because he’s HoH and is in a position to keep her secure this week.  Plus, you know, he’s a pawn and they can play him like a fiddle if they want to.  Jessica is pretty depressed.  Actually, make that pissed.  She’s so mad she’s not very interested in talking to Eric who feels so bad and vows to keep her safe.  She gives him a pretty cool shoulder which I think is pretty stinky but what do I know?  Cut to Dick gushing over Janelle.  YIKES.  This really cements my opinion of Janelle, if you ask me.   GEEZUS.

Dick assures Eric in the hot tub that Jessica will be safe and Eric is encouraged.  Of course, Dick is feeding him a total LINE and Jessica is as good as gone at this point.  They’re just stringing her along and plan to vote her out, cutting Jameka a deal at the last minute.  Remember what I said about conniving?  Meanwhile, Eric tries to convince Jessica that she’s safe.  She wisely doesn’t quite believe him.  But still, she needs to stop taking this all out on Eric.  Yeah, he deserves a little blame but GOD, buck up for Pete’s sake!  She keeps this up and I’ll want her to go.

Eric gets his America’s Player task, he has to mimic… DICK!  Of course.  Who else is there, really?  So Eric goes right to work on mimicking Dick.   Luckily, Dick takes it pretty well and enjoys the joke.  Eric meanwhile hopes for a “shared moment of hilarity” to bring them closer together.  Err… right.  So we’re treated to three separate rounds of Eric copying Dick.  My favorite was the cereal moment.  The flinging of the cereal was pretty classic.  So it’s safe to say that Eric’s task was completed.  Good job, Eric.  The show needed that levity right about now.

Daniele thinks that Eric’s game has been deceitful, whereas they’ve played a much cleaner game.  ‘Scuse me??   HA!  Of course, their big motivation here is jury votes and they don’t want people to be mad at them.  So if they can get Eric and Jessica out without making them mad, mores the better, right?  UGH.  They seem to think if Jessica is gone and they only have to compete against Eric for HoH, that he’ll be too distraught to compete properly and they’ll get it easy.  You know, that or it pisses him off and he’s a man on fire.  Ya know.  Take your pick.  Still, I think at this point it’s fairly unlikely that Eric will win this game.  Even if he makes it to the final two.  He’s made far too many enemies in this game.  But don’t feel too bad for him.  He’s made a good chunk of change just by being America’s Player so he won’t go home empty handed by any means.

GAH, Jessica says she’d be very happy if the veto was used on her and Eric was put up on the block.  SERIOUSLY?  This girl is pretty selfish, no?  Am I imagining that?  So what does Daniele do?  She doesn’t use it.  Big shock there.  Jameka still really wants to stay.  Jessica feel unsure (and biting the hand that feeds you isn’t probably your best bet, dear).  So what is America going to do?  Are we going to make Eric vote out Jessica or we gonna give the guy a break and pick Jameka?  GIVE HIM A BREAK.  For the love of God, give him a break.