Watching Reality TV

Wow, the show is really getting down to the end, isn’t it?  It was alarming to see that there were three left where there had been five the week before.  And the contestants are reeling from the loss of Julia.  She was seen as an inspiration to the other competitors and even Rock gets a little tearful after her departure.  Everyone was sad to see her go, even Gordon.  Heck, he even offered to put her through culinary school.  That’s got to mean something, right?

The first challenge is making a gourmet meal out of an American classic meal.  Jen selected fried chicken, Rock selected spaghetti and meatballs and Bonnie selected franks and beans.  Bonnie tried to dispute the American classic-ness of franks and beans but it’s pretty hard to say hot dogs aren’t American.  They all made really fancy looking dishes from their assignments though.  The judges?  Their mothers!  Plus we got to see Gordon’s mother and it was rather cute that he wouldn’t swear in front of her.  Or let anyone else do it either.  Anyhow, the mothers tasted the dishes without knowing who had made what and they all unanimously agreed on Jen’s chicken.  Her reward was getting to go to lunch with her mom and Gordon and his mom and then getting a $1000 shopping spree at a cooking supply store.  Not too shabby!

Dinner service was going to be an opportunity for each contestant to show their aggression at working “the pass”.  In preparation, Gordon gave each of them some training on how to be obnoxiously rude to their staff.  Which was HILARIOUS.  Bonnie, if you can believe it, was a complete natural.  I mean, she darn near bit Gordon’s head off.  Pretty funny.  Rock was surprisingly lackluster and needed further coaching.  Jen tried a little too hard, swearing every other word but eventually got a good command.  It was just funny watching Gordon play meek for a change and say things like “Yes, chef.” and “Sorry, chef”.  Ha!

So the plan was to sabotage each of the contestants as they worked the pass and Jen was up first.  And, as expected, she didn’t catch that a pasta dish was missing it’s crab and was ready to send it out before Gordon stopped it.  After that, she was vigilant and did pretty darn well.  But now the other contestants knew to look for sabotage and both Rock and Bonnie caught theirs.  Which I didn’t think was entirely fair because they had to learn from Jen’s example and Jen was going into it cold.  But, whatever.  Dinner service went well and Gordon had a touch choice on his hands.

It came down to Bonnie or Jen.  And I thought for sure Bonnie would be going home.  But instead it was Jen.  I think if you took that episode as a measure, then yes, Jen made sense.  But considering the entire competition so far, I thought Bonnie should go.  I felt a better final two would be Rock and Bonnie.  But at least now we know that Rock will win.  Right?  We know that, don’t we?  Because I don’t think a nanny should win “Hell’s Kitchen”.

I’m back from my exciting excursion into the outside world.  I’m not entirely over the whole thing yet but it’s time to get back to posting the reality goodness.  I’m sorry I wasn’t around to post some recaps of Thursday night’s BB8 episode for you all, but hopefully you were able to get that information elsewhere.  And while I’m on the subject, here are some great recaps of last night’s nomination episode:

• Big Brother Craze is updating!  And they have a fantastic recap, go read!
• Television without Pity’s recaplet
• TV Squad’s recap
• Watch the full episode at CBS.com

And what did I think? It was good, though I felt like I was jumping in mid-stream.  I really wish I hadn’t missed the show on Thursday night, it totally threw me off.  There was the “fight” between Dick and Amber about her dog.  She said she loved her dog as much as she loved her daughter and Dick was incredulous about this.  I’ve heard a lot of division on this issue.  I think Dick interpreted her to mean that she had the same feelings to the dog as she did to the child.  That they were 100% equal in her heart and mind.  And if that’s the case, then I agree with Dick.  I love my dogs.  Beetoe is my little princess and I would be extremely upset if something happened to her.   She is definitely a member of our family and anyone that tries to tell me elsewise would get an earful.  BUT, she’s not on the same plane as my children.  They are held far above her in my heart and mind and I think that’s how it should be.  Anyhow, enough of that.

There was also a food competition last night.  Basically, the houseguests have to reconstruct giant Humpty Dumpty’s and the winner is Jessica and Jameka. Besides being guaranteed real food for the week, they also get to select the houseguests who are to go on slop for the week.  They select (a little predictably) Dick, Zack, Kail, Nick and Jen.  Jen of course says she’s happy to be on slop because maybe she’ll eat less and lose some weight.  BARF.

The nominations come along and Dustin appears to agonize over the decision.  America has dictated that Eric campaign to get Jen nominated which he does with much fervor.  Nick is tossed around as a possibility.  And how about Zach?  All good ideas, but Dustin eventually settles on nominating Jen and Kail which I heartily agree with. One of them NEEDS to go home this week.  I doubt anyone will be stupid enough to “rescue” Kail this week, what do you think?

Next time on “Big Brother”:  Can we make Eric promote the catchphrase “Sweet Chicken?”  Time will tell!

As you may recall, I’m currently on board an airplane due east to the Windy City. I’m going to BLOGHER, ya’ll! (If you’re there this weekend, and happen to see me, say hi!) Anyhow, while I’m trying not to worry too much about what that strange noise the engine is making is, read this listing of reality TV nominations for the Emmy Awards, due to air in September (I think, don’t quote me on that!). I got this from RealityTVWorld.com, so props to them! (list is after the jump, ya’ll!)

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And here I thought JEN took the cake! Kail was still vehemently denying any lying on her part (durrr). When it came time for the veto competition and after Kail was almost immediately eliminated from the endurance-style challenge, she actually encouraged Mike (the only former alliance member who showed a shred of loyalty to her) to try to upset Dick from his “post”. Everyone else in the house was trying to distract Jen. And, hello! Obviously if Dick gets off the post and Jen gets veto, he’s going to put up Mike, right? Because Mike is now OBVIOUSLY working with Kail, right? Tell me I’m not the only one who saw that. Durrr…

Meanwhile, Dick started getting uber-paranoid. He noticed that Nick, Jen and someone else (forget who at the moment) were up in his HoH room alone and he was worried that they were scheming against him. The mere notion of them plotting in HIS room sent him through the roof. Daniele tried to call him out on that, and that just resulted in a huge fight between daddy and daughter. For what it’s worth, as harsh as Dick can be, I don’t think Daniele gives him enough credit. She tends toward selfishness when it comes to her relationship with him and never seems to want to consider his side or how he’s feeling. She’s a nice gal, but I think she’s still a bit immature.

Oh and Eric? Totally rocks. His assignment was to vandalize a houseguest’s property and America selected (durr) Jen. So he squired some mayonnaise on one of those annoying shirts of hers that she had wrapped around a pillow. This one said “Jenth Degree”. Of course, Jen was insulted but trying to play it off as no big deal. She’s so transparent she’s practically cellophane here. Oh and she automatically assumed it was Dick or Daniele that did it. Anyhow, major points go to Eric cuz he pulled it off awesomely.

And here is my recap roundup for last night’s episode. You know, the usual suspects.

• TV Squad’s recap
• Television without Pity’s recaplet
• CBS’s Big Brother website, full episode video

I may not be around tomorrow, I’m leaving (on a jet plane!) early in the morning to go to the BlogHer conference in Chicago! I’ll be there through Sunday and I hope to be able to post at least on Friday, but again, I can’t make any promises. Be good, reality TV watchers!

Last night was an intense episode.  Things are definitely ramping up towards the end of the season and the competition is getting fierce.  Definitely check out these awesome recaps:

• Television without Pity’s recaplet
• The Fox.com official recap

The “reward challenge” (for lack of a better term to describe it) involved the competitors (who have now merged into one team at last) preparing lunch for a bunch of high schoolers.  Then, in grand “Hell’s Kitchen” tradition, the teenagers vote on who made the best food and that person wins.  And that person is?  Julia!  She reveled in her victory and a chance to go spend the night at the Green Valley Resort.  And she got to take a friend!  That friend was Jen and they both had a great time exclaiming over the bidet.  They also got to meet Heather, the winner of last year’s “Hell’s Kitchen”. She gave them some corney, pre-packaged advice and they waxed poetic over her vast knowledge of competing on a Fox reality show.  Whatever, I still think the other gal should have won.

They come back just in time for dinner service and while they’re doing pretty good, there are some notable exceptions.  Julia just can’t seem to get the garnish station down.  She loses things and generally looks pretty clueless for most of the service.  Which is a shame because we know she can do better.  Josh just plain fucks things up royally the entire time.  He’s on the appetizer station and he just cannot seem to get it together.  Gordon reaches the end of his rapidly fraying rope and just busts Josh out of there.  Get out, take off your coat, leave it here and go get a clue.  It was pretty dramatic.  So Josh is gone, leaving just the four of them.  And you think that’d make them pull together but Rock’s temper keeps getting the better of him and he seems to actually want to perpetuate this unhappy atmosphere in the kitchen.

So after the service, I was surprised to see Gordon still wanted to get rid of someone, seeing as how we already lost Josh.  But he did.  He picked Bonnie to select the two to put up before him and she (wisely) chose Julia and Rock.  I was very disappointed to see Julia go because I know she’s an exceptional cook.  But I think it was the best choice Gordon could have made.  So now Julia is gone and it’s down to three.  Dun dun DUN!!!

Last night was the nomination portion of this week’s entertainment and virtually no one was surprised by how it all shook out.  But in case you are the sort that would be surprised (or you didn’t get to see the show at all), check out these sites:

• Television without Pity’s recaplet
• TV Squad’s recap
• CBS’s full episode video

Things that amused me about last night’s episode:

•  the “wrestling match” between Jen and Eric.  I forget who challenged who and Eric claims he thinks he could have taken her but that he was surprised by her competitive streak.  I know all of America was cheering along at home when he body slammed her though.  However, he was undone by a kick to the groin.  Oh and Jen?  Total nutjob.
• Daniele breaking down in the hammock to Dick about her developing feelings for Nick.  She feels real bad because she has a boyfriend back at home and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone.  Dick handled it really well and it was nice to be able to see them connect like that.
• The food competition which involved diving into enormous pools of spaghetti but garnered the entire house some really good food for the next week.  Yay, no slop!

So yeah, Dick nominated Jen and Kail.  I think Kail will be going home.  Wise, though Jen is far more annoying she’s truly not much of a threat right now.  And Kail is getting on my nerves, slowly but surely.  See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.

Once again, I’m going to provide you with a beautiful listing of capable recaps for last night’s “Big Brother”.  You can’t go wrong with these recaps.

• Recap on TV Squad
• Television without Pity recaplet
• Weekly wrapup on MSNBC
• Video of the episode on the CBS “Big Brother” website (it’s not up yet but will be shortly)

To make a long story short?  Joe went home.  It was no big surprise, I could see that happening.  Dick may be a polarizing personality in the house, but I don’t think he’s truly pissed anyone off yet.  Well, anyone besides Jen and Kail.  Kail slit her own throat by starting it up with Dick on last night’s episode.  He ratted her out on her duplicity (of course he did!) and she tried to play it off cool but I think she knew she screwed up.  Her “alliance” saw the writing on the wall with that one and distanced themselves from her so that when it came time to vote, hers was the only vote against Dick while the rest were for Joe.

Joe went out as best as he possibly could have.  I haven’t really liked him since moment one and eventually I would have been screaming for his blood.  But he went out on a high note last night and for that he should be proud.  It was probably the best time for him to go because he was made a sort of martyr in his eviction and the war-cry for Jen’s head on a platter this next week is going to be something to behold.

Speaking of which: Dick won HoH.  HA!  That was positively classic.  He was almost spot on in guessing how many hours Jen has worn her unitard so far (no trick questions this time).  I can tell you right now who will be going up on the block: Jen and Kail.  Who will go home?  JEN.  And when she exits the house there will be a collective sigh of relief through the house and across America.  I doubt she will ever understand why or how much she was detested.  That would be giving her far too much credit.

So am I happy with last night’s episode?  You betcha.  Bring it on!

So you all know how much I like shows like “Deadliest Catch” or “Ice Road Truckers”, right?  I’ve made no secret of it, that’s for sure.   But I’m not the only one, there are millions of fans out there of this style of reality show.  But why? Well, we like to live by the seat of our pants from the comfort of our living rooms, apparently.  Some of it is watching something we’ve never seen before (I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen a whole lot of king crab fishing in my life, or guys driving big rigs on ice either).  A lot of it is the sense of danger.  The idea that the worst could happen at any turn and we want to see it happen.  America is a nation of rubber-neckers, after all.  At any rate, expect to see more shows like these on the horizon.  The public has spoken and they want to see some more of this REAL reality TV.

Since there are better men (and women) than me to recap each episode of “Big Brother”, I’ll leave that to them, and merely link to their recaps (much like I did with “Hell’s Kitchen” yesterday).  Instead, I’ll give you some of my opinions and what I was thinking after last night’s show.  So without further ado, if you need a brush up on what happened last night you need to be checking no less than three websites:

• Television without Pity’s recaplet
• TV Squad’s recap
• The Big Brother Craze website here on 451Press (there’s no recap as of this writing, but there will surely be one soon)

They all can surely give you a far better (and more accurate) (and more interesting) idea of what happened last night than I can.  And that is probably due in no small part to the fact that Jen made my eyes bleed on no fewer than five separate occasions.  My husband insists that Jen isn’t so stupid, that’s she’s made some rather brilliant strategic moves as HoH.  Such a statement makes me want to wail at the heavens.  I think Jen is brainless, self-centered and dangerous as HoH.  Boo, I say.  BOO!

And is Amber a drama queen or what?  She was selected to be in the Power of Veto competition and this stressed her out.  She was stressed out further when Jen actually threatened to put up on the block the houseguest Amber cares about most if she won the Veto and used it.  Which is pretty mafioso, even for Jen.  So Amber spent large portions of the episode crying (again) and with a puffy face (again).  I’m starting to think less that she’s a sensitive person and more that she’s something of a crybaby.  Buck up, woman.

She didn’t win Veto and the “present” she received from underneath the Christmas trees was a pair of shackles.  She had to select someone to be bound to for 24 hours and she chose Kail.  I think that was a pretty good idea.  They both move in different circles so this would give both of them an idea of what the others friends are like.  Plus, it brought them closer, from the looks of it.

Jen’s “present” from the competition was a red unitard she was required to wear (and only the unitard, nothing else) for one whole week. She tried to play it off like she WANTED to do this whole unitard thing, and instead of being ironic or sarcastic about it, I think she was being honest.  Or “jenuine” as she might say.  GAH.  By the end of the show she had altered the top of the unitard to be more of a tank-top style and I know that further alterations must be on the near horizon.  And I fear that, to be honest.

Dick won a plasma tv and Joe won a slop pass.  I think I’d rather have the plasma tv.  Daniele, however, won Power of Veto and predictably used it to get herself off the block.  For a while it looked like Jen would put Nick up on the block because she has a one track mind and quite honestly refuses to listen to anyone else EVER.  But then she chose Joe.  While I’m growing fonder of Joe, I still find him more annoying than not and hope he’s out instead of Dick.  I just love watching Dick give it to Jen with both barrels, you know?

Eric was assigned to “sleep walk” into a fellow houseguest’s bed.  America selected Joe as the victim in this situation (and I totally think they should have selected Dick).  Eric gamely went along with it and tried to climb into Joe’s bed.  It didn’t work so well since he apparently shares the bed with someone else (not sure who) and he was trying to lie vertically in the bed instead of horizontally across the bottom.  Still, Joe woke up enough to be freaked out about it and question Eric about it the next day.  Eric claimed to have no recollection, must have been someone else.  Apparently he failed this task but I think he should get SOME points for it because he sure tried hard.  Shoot, Eric even tried to have another crack at getting Jessica up on the block but the immovable object that is Jen wouldn’t hear any of it.  BOO.

So yeah, Jen ended up putting Joe up and I’m cool with that.  I’m thinking the house will chose him over Dick to go home but it’s hard to say.  The only thing I do know is that there are a lot of people who are going to be going after Jen next week and I just hope I’m around to see it.

(oh wait!  I’m going to be at BlogHer next Thursday!  Dangit!)

I didn’t see last night’s episode because we were watching a DVD.  I had plans of watching it after the movie was over but it was rather late by then and I was pretty bushed.  I correctly assumed it’d be something of a throwaway episode and decided to skip it.  But I’m not the sort to just leave you all in the lurch, I’m making sure you have access to a decent wrap-up of the evening.  And believe me, you can’t go wrong with Television without Pity’s fabulous recaplet of last night’s show.  So check it out, I think you’ll find yourself a little surprised by the ending if you (like me) missed last night’s episode.  And apparently next week Rock cries so I definitely won’t be missing that one!

There are some out there who would say, “Feel sorry for her!  She really is that stupid.  She doesn’t know any better.”  I find that no excuse.  Jen is truly, truly stupid and truly, truly annoying.  The houseguests are only tolerating her at this point because she is inexplicably HoH this week.  No one wants to paint a target on their back, after all.  Though I have to applaud the drinking game that Mike, Zack and Dustin participated in where they took a drink of water each time Jen said “I”.  She stood there, blathering on about something I can’t even remember what it was.  And the guys were right there in front of her, taking a multitude of drinks and she didn’t even seem fazed by it.  It was a pretty hilarious segment.  Also hilarious: Jen gets out of the shower and puts her hair up in a turban.  She goes into a room where some of the guys (including Dick) are trying to nap and proceeds to start talking.  To herself?  Anyhow, the room clears alarmingly quick and she doesn’t even seem to notice.  That would have been the end of it, except Dick felt he had to confront her about her selfishness.  He was a little harsh, but I’m starting to realize that’s just how Dick is.  He doesn’t have a “mellow” button.

Worse was when the HoH room was revealed (and am I the only one who thinks it looks hideous this year?  AUGH!) and Jen was actually upset and disappointed because there weren’t enough recent pictures of her or pictures of her and her friends.  Darn all these photos of my loving family!  And in PictureGate 2.0, she actually took down a sweet photo of her and her mother because in it she wasn’t wearing any makeup.  SERIOUSLY.  And she did this in front of people.  It causes me to wonder if this woman has ever had any self-esteem.  She is so hopelessly self-absorbed and self-conscious that I wonder if she ever has truly felt confident about herself.  Her whole thing is one giant act.  It’s mind boggling.

Another interesting “interlude” is her talking with Kail about who she might nominate.  Kail is the only one in the household who remotely likes Jen and that makes me wonder about Kail’s judgment but perhaps she’s a better woman than me.  Jen actually has the nerve to suggest that Daniele and Jessica are unlikely to win many competitions (you know, except for that Veto that Daniele won last week) because they’re not that bright.  SERIOUSLY.  It was like watching her evolve into an enormous talking black pot.  Again, mind boggling.

Not much else really happened.  Unless you want to talk about the commentary that Zack and Dustin engaged in while Mike and Nick lifted weights in the backyard.  That was truly a funny sequence.  Even Mike and Nick had a hard time keeping a straight face and that makes lifting weights a little more difficult.  Between this and the drinking game, I’m starting to enjoy these guys quite a bit.

We had a food challenge last night as well.  It was girls against guys.  Well, mostly.  Joe was on the red girl’s team but he’s pretty much a guy anyhow so no difference, right?  They had to “guess the pie” by taking bites and trying to figure out what the ingredients were. Salmon and blueberry or pepperoni and mint?  Oh HELLS NAW.  I was surprised they got as many right as they did.  The men won by a pretty narrow margin but they won regardless.  So it’s slop for the girls (and the second week on slop for Daniele…aww).

We also had nominations.  As a surprise to NO ONE, Jen nominated Dick and Daniele.  Her reasoning?  Their feud brings negativity to the household.  Uh, no.  You’re jealous of the attention Nick gives to Daniele and your ego is smarting by the large helpings of truth and fact that Dick has showered upon you.  So father and daughter are up on the block.  Will Dick stay true to his word and not campaign for his daughter’s eviction?  I believe he won’t.  In fact, if he somehow got the Veto, I’m pretty sure he’d use it to take her off the block.  I’d hate to see either of them leave at this point, but I’d hate to see Dick go even more because he’s awesome.  Everyone else just seems disappointed that Big Brother didn’t make an exception in this case and allow the HoH to put herself up for eviction.

I guess of the two nominees, Carol was the one who should have left.  She wasn’t very interesting and was a touch less sympathetic than Amber.  Plus, I honestly think Amber is a better player.  Though it might have been sound strategy to vote out Amber seeing as she would be more of a threat in the long run, the houseguests voted Carol out 10-1.  Jessica squealed with delight, of course, and I wanted to punch her in the face.  Previously in the episode, the women (poorly) tried to convince everyone that they had buried the hatchet.  When in reality, they still hate each other with a purple coated passion.  Carol, however, was the far more civil of the two and I honestly think she was just too reasonable to be on this show.  I don’t like that she went home instead of Jessica, but what’re ya gonna do?

Carol got to witness Jessica’s true true colors after eviction and didn’t seem surprised in the least.  Interested in pursuing a friendship?  I’d say not.

There was also a new HOH chosen last night.  Through sheer dumb luck, Jen won it.  It came down to a four way tie which required a tie-breaker question asking how many gallons of water the spinning teacup in the backyard would hold.   “Big Brother” gave us a big ol’ trick question because no one else took the gaping entrance in the cup into account so their answers were in the hundreds.  In reality?  It was 9 gallons.  Jen, who had guessed 42 or some such ridonkulous answer won.  And I wailed, gnashed my teeth and pulled at my hair.  Because there’s another week I have to watch that nutcase on my television set.

So our “America’s Player” can be told which person to campaign for eviction before the nominations on Sunday.   Seeing as how my most likely choice is the one making the nominations, I’m going to go with Jessica because she herself is like nails on the chalkboard.  But I’m willing to bet my baby’s weight in gold that she also nominates Danielle because of that whole Nick stupidness from earlier in the week.  Mark my words, ya’ll.

I recently heard about a brand new reality TV show coming to the Fine Living network later this month. It’s called “Shopping with Chefs” and features two familiar faces. First off, you have Jill Davie who was the winner of Food Network’s “Hot Chefs South Beach” competition. Then you have David Myers, who was a Food Network Iron Chef this last year. Considering the popularity of “Hell’s Kitchen” and kitchen-related reality shows lately, this sounds like a guaranteed hit to me. Instead of focusing on competition, this show rather highlights a partnership between the two chefs as they enlighten us all on what you need to buy and have in your kitchen to be a successful cook. The show premieres, as I said, on the Fine Living Network on July 22 at 8pm, with other episodes beginning to air on July 28 at 1pm. If you’d like a sneak peak, check the video below!

<a href=�http://www.fineliving.com/fine/pac_ctnt_988/text/0,,FINE_26036_63118,00.html�>Shopping with Chefs</a>

Okay, I’ve decided that Jen needs to go.  Her hysterics on Sunday over her photograph (yes, over a picture) were just the beginning.  This girl is pathological. For one thing, she nutted up when she saw Nick (whom she obviously has the hots for and has flirted rather shamelessly with) putting the moves on Danielle (whom Nick has confessed to preferring to the other girls in the confessional).  Obviously convulsing with jealousy, she went out and proceeded to mention Nick and Danielle as if she could give a flying crap.  Then, she mentioned that he tried to kiss her once, but she wouldn’t let him.  I’m not entirely sure, but I could swear she said he was ugly too.  Riiiight.  Joe, the nosey busy-body he is, overheard this and went to tell Nick right quick.  Nick wasn’t having it and he came out and confronted her on the spot.  Basically, called her out as a liar.  They discussed the rest in private and he pretended to forgive her but he was still annoyed.  And can you believe she was still trying to flirt with him?  She’s NUTS, people.

And let’s not talk about her shirts.  There’s the “Jenuine” above that is almost sort of clever.  But some of them made me want to tear my eyeballs out.  This girl BUGS.  And I’m not the only one.  Besides me and Nick, Dick can’t stand her either.  Same goes for Amber.  I have a feeling the number of people who despise Jen is going to multiply over the coming weeks.

So there was a Veto Competition this week.  I won’t go into the nitty gritty details.  It was a little confusing at first, the players had to hide veto symbols with their names on it and then the other players had to find the veto symbols.  Whichever symbol wasn’t found was the winner.  And that person was Danielle who I think hid her symbol in a pot of slop.  Yeah, I wouldn’t look in there either.  Unfortunately, she chose not to use the Veto at the ceremony later on.  I was hoping she’d take someone off because I wanted Jen to be put up in their place.  I knew it wasn’t a good plan though, and Danielle did the right thing for herself.  She doesn’t need that target on her back.  But I hate Jen so much and Amber and Carol are inoffensive as of yet and I don’t want to see either of them leave yet.

In other news, Eric’s first turn as “America’s Player” was hysterically funny.  He had to conjure a sob story to tell one of the houseguests and apparently America picked Kail.  It was some silliness about how his ex-girlfriend looked like Danielle and was an anorexic and everything.  I didn’t really catch the rest because I was laughing so hard.  I mean, this man NAILED it, with fake tears and everything.   And Kail totally BOUGHT IT.  This week, thankfully, we have something better to vote on him doing.  We get to select which houseguest he votes out.  Though admitedly I’d probably feel better about it if I actually wanted one of those people to leave.

Speaking of Amber, she’s a very religious sort.  She did a lot of praying on last night’s show, mostly to give her strength.  She has faith that everything is happening for a reason and if God wants her to stay in the house, she will.  But then, she also confessed to Nick that she’s a nympho.  And I decided that this is what this show really has needed all along.  A good, God fearing nympho.

I was amazed that Joe didn’t bug me more than he did last night.  I think it was the distraction from the crazy that is Jen.  Because everyone seems normal when compared to her.

Some of you may be surprised to learn that we actually saw some cooking on the show last night.  A lot of people have been complaining that we see too much drama and not enough chef-ery on the show and it felt like last night’s episode was an answer to that.  Shoot, Ramsay was downright PLEASED with these people half the time.  I know, I had to check the channel a couple times, just to make sure that this was indeed the right show.

We pick up, as always, right where we left off.  The girls call a meeting and Bonnie coldly says, “Not you, bitch” to Melissa.  And you know what?  She deserved that.   They all vow to be best friends forever or something silly like that.  Oh, and the cat comes out of the bag when all the contestants hang out and chat.  Jen isn’t JUST a pastry chef, she’s been flying under the radar so that people won’t expect much of her. It’s a pretty good strategy and Rock is impressed with her “gamesmanship”.

Our challenge today involves the preparation of lobster.  It sounds pretty challenging.   Ramsay wants each team to make three different lobster dishes (from fresh, unbanded lobsters, no less) and he wants to be impressed.  Bonnie looks ill.  She hates killing lobsters (I’m with her there) and tries to get out of it, but no.  But I will admit I looked away when she tossed her “big f’er” in the pot of boiling water.  The competition is actually really close.  Gordon actually likes most of the dishes they prepared and has a hard time selecting the winner.  He eventually settles on the Red Team and they are awarded a photo shoot at In Touch Magazine.  The Blue Team has to sort the recycling.  Rock is PISSED.  I mean, he’s really, really mad.  The rest of his team looks a little scared and I think I would too.

Then, to rub salt in his wounds, he is called to the photo shoot mid-recycle.  For what?  Why, to take the garbage from the photo shoot and recycle that too.  That was WAY harsh.  But maybe it’ll teach him to shut his yap the next time he gets pissed off.  You KNOW that’s why they made him do it.  This show is so cruel.

During dinner service, we actually get to watch these people cook.  And we see the Red Team really shine (that is, until Bonnie nearly burnt down the kitchen).  The Blue team stumbles a touch, mostly due to Melissa being WAY off her game.  To me, it seems like she’s just given up.  It seems that way to pretty much everyone else too.  So it was no surprise when Gordon calls her out at the elimination first thing and just sends her packing.  No fanfare, no sermonizing.  Just “see ya, don’t let the door smack you in the ass on the way out”.  Then, it seems like he’s going to boot either Brad or Josh.  But he tells them this is their last chance and sends them off.  Daaang.