Watching Reality TV

Did anyone watch this?  I didn’t, because I was out at Chuck E. Cheese with my family for an insanely long time.  Plus, you know, I don’t get Bravo.  That’d probably do it, huh?  Anyhow, “Hey, Paula” debuted last night on Bravo.  The show is meant to be a sort of “docudrama” about the former pop star and “American Idol” judge.  But instead of humanizing her or profiling a disaster in progress, the show instead shows us a Paula we’re not entirely familiar with.  She’s in turn goofy and silly and almost funny and then spoiled and demanding.  At least, that’s what the reviews say.  Whoever and whatever she is, “down to earth” is not a phrase used to define Paula Abdul, I think we can agree on that. 

The cast for this summer’s “Big Brother 8″ has been announced at last, along with some of the twists we viewers can expect to see unfold over the next several months.   The twists include contestants who “have a beef” with one another which might make rumors that some of the contestants are old high school enemies true.  Also, there will be an “America’s Player” who will have to act on the whim of the American public including voting the way America decides and flirt with who America dictates.  Could be interesting.  Unless, of course “America’s Player” gets voted out the first week or two.  That would suck.  Also?  The house is styled like “Alice in Wonderland” with big beds and little chairs.  Why?  I don’t know.

Without further ado, here’s the contestant list, featuring a large amount of those in the alcohol peddling industry:

• Amber, 27, Las Vegas, separated, cocktail waitress
• Carol, 21, Lawrence, Kan., single, student
• Daniele, 20, Huntington Beach, Calif., single waitress
• Dick, 44, Los Angeles, single, bar manager
• Dustin, 22, Chicago, single, shoe salesman
• Eric, 27, New York, single, talent management assistant
• Jameka, 28, Waldorf, Md., single, school counselor
• Jen, 23, Beverly Hills, Calif., single, nanny
• Jessica, 21 Haysville, Kan., single, college student
• Joe, 23, Chicago, single, receptionist
• Kail, 37, McKenzie Bridge, Ore., married, business owner
• Mike, 26, Three Lakes, Wis., single, painting contractor
• Nick, 25, Kimball, Minn., single, former pro football player
• Zach, 30, Burbank, Calif., single, graphic designer

“Big Brother 8″ starts July 5th at 8pm on CBS.  I’ll be excited to watch, considering the train wreck that is “Pirate Master” and “On the Lot” (the latter which lost another large chunk of viewers this week).

Maybe it’s a sign that I’m becoming a “reality TV snob”. Suddenly the dippy shows on network television seem so dang boring while the more “highbrow” cousins on the cable networks are infinitely more interesting. Though, I’m not entirely sure you could call Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs” necessarily “highbrow”. Yep, this is the second time this week I’m bringing up “Dirty Jobs”. There hasn’t been a whole lot on TV this week and Discovery Channel has been running repeats of the show every night this week. And who am I to resist the lure of Mike Rowe? Last night, on their 100th episode special, Mike (and friend) sang this song to a montage of “dirty jobs” and I just had to look this one up on YouTube to share with you all. And just my luck; YouTube had it. So enjoy!

In other news, I know I said I was going to mention “Ice Road Truckers” and I still haven’t. Basically, all I can say is that this show is really, really awesome and you really, really need to watch it. Basically, these are truckers who have to truck supplies to diamond mines up in the arctic north of Canada. Supplies can only be brought up for about 4 months of the year, when the many, many lakes up there are frozen solid and can be driven upon. That’s where these truckers come in. If the supplies don’t make it up in time, then the mine is set back for a whole ‘nother year and since this is the diamond industry, that’s a lot of money lost. Oh, and while these guys are driving on the ice, it’s actually moving. And they can’t go too fast or a wave will form underneath the ice, causing it to break open and the truck to fall in. They can’t go too slow or the ice will break and the truck will fall in. Oh, and they ARE driving on ice here so they have to watch for wheels spinning out, jackknifed trucks and every other dang thing. It’s about 30 below zero and blowing snow can cause the drivers to not be able to see past the hood of their truck. This? Is INTENSE. You just gotta watch. It’s so good.

You’ll notice I’m not talking about “On the Lot” today. I didn’t watch it last night. Because, frankly, I give up. That show tried hard but it was too little, too late. I’ll keep an eye on any major news concerning the show and let you all know what I know, but I’m not going to watch it if I can at all help it. I don’t get paid THAT much.

Mere words can’t explain how much I love this show.  It’s just that good.  The contestants are still upset about the horrible dinner service they just endured.  Jen is beating herself up about trying to serve garbage spaghetti (new on the menu at your local roadside diner!) and Vinnie is helping her by really rubbing in how stupid it was.  Thanks, Vinnie.  You’re such a nice guy.  Bonnie comforts her friend though and makes the boo boo all better.  The next day, it’s time for the blind taste test!  That’s always fun and this time is no different.  Basically?  The men couldn’t taste their way out of a paper bag.  Rock thought egg yolk was potato, for pete’s sake. And Vinnie thought seared tuna was pancetta.  Riiiight.  So the girls win their third reward.

The reward is a gourmet dinner with Gordon in absolute darkness.  Eh? Still, it’s a lot better than the punishment which was having to eat a variety of nasty, nasty things like tripe and tongue and liver. GAH.  Meanwhile, the girls are flirting in complete darkness and I swear to you, Gordon started it by tossing bits of roll at the girls.  Seriously!  Is this junior high? It was cute, but pretty blatant.  Fun television, no doubt.

And now we’re on to dinner service that night.  And once again, it’s a nightmare.  No one can seem to cook the chicken properly, or the Wellingtons (again).  The girls seem to serve more customers but the customers aren’t pleased with what they get and many dishes are sent back to the kitchen.  Gordon about has a apoplectic fit over the whole thing and decides that neither the Blue or Red teams won the night that they both suck equally.  But, from each team, Jen and Rock sucked less so they get to pick the nominees.  Except apparently they can’t even do that because Gordon is disgusted with their picks of Melissa and Josh.  He instead picks Vinnie and Bonnie.  Bonnie made more sense since she just about fell apart during the service, crying about how she couldn’t handle the pressure.  Vinnie also made sense because he’s a dick and Gordon has had it out for him since day one.  And, yep, he’s the one to go.  There’s not room enough in “Hell’s Kitchen” for both of those egos, buddy, and Gordon’s takes precedence.

I was all prepared to write a post about “Ice Road Truckers” which I started watching over the weekend and TOTALLY LOVE (omg, you have to be watching this). But that will have to wait until tomorrow, perhaps, because then I watched a repeat of Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs” featuring host Mike Rowe. If you’ve never heard of the show, they send this poor guy all around to do the nastiest stuff you never wanted to do like gather sperm samples from horses or clean out septic tanks. I remember one episode where he had to go into a bat cave to “check up” on it’s inhabitants the the guano he had to wade through still gives me nightmares. Anyhow, last night’s episode was a sort of “spur of the moment” assignment. He was in South Africa to shoot a segment for Discovery Channels “Shark Week”. The sharks weren’t “biting” so to speak so they went and found a monkey rehabilitation clinic called “APES”.  The crew was then terrorized by a particularly aggressive male monkey named “Paddy”.  What followed is perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the Discovery Channel and I just had to share it with you (I apologize for the video quality in advance).

The History Channel’s new reality show, “Ice Road Truckers” debuted on Sunday with 3.4 million viewers, the cable channel’s most watched show ever. I’d like to think the reason is because “Ice Road Truckers” is a reality show set up much like “Deadliest Catch” is and we all know how much I love THAT show. “On the Lot” brought in a depressing 2.5 million viewers this week, down nearly a half a million viewers from the week before. They’re losing huge chunks of their audience every week. I don’t know about “Pirate Master”’s ratings yet (it just aired last night and I didn’t even watch… the horror!) but I imagine they’re equally dismal. The thing is, “Ice Road Truckers” airs on a more obscure cable channel (we’re not talking TBS or USA here) and “On the Lot” airs on a network channel that virtually every television in America can tune in to. Yikes.

“Ice Road Truckers” follows six truckers for two months as they haul important supplies to diamond mines that are located across frozen lakes that actually act as roads. This all happens in Canada’s Northwest Territory and men actually die doing this job (sound familiar). I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch that? I’m already kicking myself for having missed it on Sunday and am setting up my TIVO right now to remedy the situation. You’d be wise to do the same, sounds like.

This may not be a personal blog, but I’m not immune to the charms of the blog meme.  Recently, Victoria from About San Diego tagged me to do a “7 Things” style meme and far be it from me to resist.   I’ll see if I can tie it back around to my topic, but don’t count on it.

Seven Unusual Facts About Me:

1. I went to an all-girls Catholic high school and get this: I actually liked it.  It was a very laid back atmosphere but still expected academic excellence and good behavior and that just really jived with my personality.  Plus, I made some really good friends while I was there.
2. I am the last of five children.  Not just last, but way last.  I’m 8 years behind my older sister and 14 years behind my oldest sister.  I think it’s easy to say that I wasn’t exactly planned by my parents.  I’m sure they’re glad they had me now though.  I hope.
3. For the longest time I was a die-hard cat person.  I loved having cats as pets and barely could tolerate dogs.  That is, until we got our rat terrier “Beetoe”.  She decided I was her person and glommed right on to me.  Then we had some cats that were nothing but a pain in the arse.  Now?  I find I’ve flip-flopped.  I prefer dogs to cats.  Of course, we have to be talking about well-behaved dogs.  Still, I do appreciate a good, sweet cat from time to time.
4. When I was growing up I used to love reading these young adult romances from a series called “Sunfire”.  They each featured a different teenaged girl at some tumultuous time in history.  The titles of the books were the girl’s name such as “Amanda” or “Jessica” or “Merrie”.  I loved those books and devoured them from the library.  I wish I had purchased more of them because they aren’t around any more but I still have a few tucked into my bookshelf.
5. All through high school and through most of college I always insisted that I didn’t want to have children when I was older and married.  I never enjoyed babysitting and didn’t feel I would enjoy having my own kids.  I changed my mind when, get this, I watched the film “Nine Months” while I was in college.  Seriously.  The scene where Hugh Grant had missed his girlfriend’s ultrasound and she left him and he was sitting there watching the videotape of the ultrasound is what did it.  Where he saw the heart beating and started to tear up?  Yeah.  I was totally suckered in.  I’m still “baby hungry”.
6. I’m terribly shy and have a very difficult time approaching people.  I’m better than I was when I was younger, however, I still cannot call people on the telephone.  I have no problem (well, maybe I should say less of a problem) if they call me but will do whatever I can to get out of having to call anyone.  That goes for family other than my parents as well.  Email, I can handle.  Txt messages?  Fine.  Phone calls?  FORGET IT.
7. I subscribe to this rather silly law of averages.  For instance: If there are three women other than myself who are pregnant and they all find out before I do that they’re having girls, I believe I will have a boy.  OR if two find out they’re having girls and one finds out she’s having a boy, I’m still having a boy.  So far, that has proven itself to be true.  I believe that if I were to get pregnant again, I might very well have a girl because some close friends of mine have had many boys and only one girl so maybe the next baby born among the three of us will be a girl.  Time will tell, right?

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for you all today.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll be back some actual, bonafide news!

Normally I’d have the “Wednesday Reality Roundup” here, but I’m so disgusted with “On the Lot” and nearly sure this show will be axed sooner rather than later and comparing “Deadliest Catch” to it makes it seem like even more of a joke so I’m not even going to go there. If you want to know what happened: Marty got sent home (over Hilary??) and Will and Zach had the best films of the night. The rest of the films were actually pretty tedious, especially the “horror” film from Jessica. Anyhow, that’s all I’m going to say about it. Because the show does truly suck and I fear for where it will tread next.

“Deadliest Catch” rocks, and now it is over. For another year, at least. A huge bummer as far as I’m concerned because like “Hell’s Kitchen”, this is a reality show that works. I was on the edge of my seat for large portions of last night’s show. The Time Bandit, for starters, found themselves in a rough situation. They offloaded their crab at the processor ship near St. Paul island, but had to travel through a lot of treacherous ice to get there. And then? They had to go back. Meanwhile, the ice is packing in tighter around the ship and threatening to overtake it. Seventeen years ago, the Alaskan Monarch found themselves in almost the exact same situation in almost the exact same spot. Their boat was overtaken and the crew was swept into the icy water and it was a bad, bad situation indeed. Captain Jonathon is mindful of this as he slowly steers the Time Bandit through the ice, which is surely damaging the hull. Sure enough, some deckhands go below to check and there are already some menacing looking dents in the hull and each crash has the crew cringing. As dawn breaks, Jonathon spots open water. The Time Bandit has made it to safety. Whew, that was fraught.

Over on the Wizard, they’re finishing up their pots one man short. The greenhorn they took on earlier in the season, Guy, quit shortly into his stint on the boat and simply remained below-decks. Now, he was going to give it another try. The thing is, he’s painfully slow. The captain is getting extremely frustrated so he gives him a pretty gentle reprimand, considering. I’ve seen these captains deal with their crew and most of the time, they’re not that diplomatic. Still, Guy loses it and charges up to the wheelhouse to bawl the captain out. And, of course, he quits again. This leaves another newcomer, Crosby, to fill his shoes and do his own job as well. Which he does, admirably and without complaint. The captain wisely offers Crosby an extra 1/2 percent of the profits for his hard work. And boy, did he earn it.

The Farwest Leader is dealing with some enormous waves and a cranky deck boss. Chili has been riding John the entire season and without much good reason as John is a pretty good crew member. Chili eventually realizes he’s been a little harsh and offers an “apology” of sorts to John. To be honest, it was pretty patronizing and insincere and John recognizes this and brushes the apology off without accepting it. I probably would have done the same. Too little, too late.

The Cornelia Marie is done crabbing and everyone has a little extra time. Last year, when Phil’s son Jake was a greenhorn, they had a hand coiling contest. Phil won, but it was hard fought. This year, they’re going again and newcomer Josh is going to compete as well. Phil barely beats out Jake in the hand coiling and then Josh steps up and shows them both how it’s done. Phil complains that he’ll never hear the end of it, but it’s obvious he’s proud of both of his boys. They have nothing to worry about as they offload their crab, they have brought in over a million pounds of crab.

On the Northwestern, they’re trying to pack in the last of the crab and are having a hard time finding where to put them all. The hull is packed full of crab and they need to off load before the crab start to die in the cramped conditions. Meanwhile, their new greenhorn Jake is still hoping to earn a Northwestern jacket, a true sign of being accepted into the fold. He’s working hard and keeping his head down and the crew and captain notice this. Five pots from being finished, their crane stops working and Edgar has to climb to the top of the ship to work out some repairs. Doesn’t that just figure? He gets it fixed up in good time, however, and the Northwestern is able to finish out the season.

And now for the totals. The Time Bandit earned $540,000 which comes down to $32,000 per deckhand. The Farwest Leader brought in $675,000, $42,000 per deckhand. The Cornelia Marie earned a more than respectable $1,062,000 which works out to $45,000 per deckhand. The Northwestern (easily my favorite) saw $1,170,000 with each deckhand bringing home $42,000. And then there is the Wizard, who earned a staggering $1,600,000 or $55,000 per deckhand. That is money well earned out there on those dangerous waters. How dangerous, you ask? Just take a look of this video of some of the nasty waves that are a daily occurrence on the Bering Sea. Keep in mind, this is in the middle of winter and that water is COLD.

Oh, but as it gets worse, it gets so so so much better.  In light of yesterday’s post about the backslide of reality TV, I think I understand now what the problem is.  Why shows like “Big Brother”, “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Deadliest Catch” do well while “Pirate Master” and “On the Lot” flail and founder.  The former are exciting, titillating, and unpredictable.  The former are so true to formula that nothing “new” or “exciting” ever seems to happen.  People tune in to reality TV to see something scandalous.  It’s voyeurism at it’s best.  We want to see someone get their ass chewed up one side and down the other.  So we watch “Hell’s Kitchen”.  We want to see someone look ACTUAL death in the eye and chuckle so we watch “Deadliest Catch”.  We want to see people have sex on television, so we tune into “Big Brother”.  It’s pretty simple, once you look at it.  “Pirate Master” and “On the Lot” give us nothing new and exciting to watch.  So we don’t watch, simple as that.  Reality TV is only about the competition in the strictest sense.  It’s about the DRAMA first and foremost.  Producers like Mark Burnett would be well off to remember that.

Anyhow, back to “Hell’s Kitchen” which rocks so much I can’t hardly stand it. In light of last night’s absolutely horrid dinner service, Gordon has a bunch of military types go in and bugle “Reveille” and wake the contestants up.  They are to serve breakfast for the army and the navy.  Julia gets props from Gordon for taking charge in the kitchen and the guys, well, the guys try hard.  So the women predictably win and the guys are assigned KP duty.  They literally have to peel about a million potatoes.  The women, on the other hand, get a helicopter ride with their pal Gordon.  Aaron, who has been particularly woeful up to this point, full out faints during the potato peeling extravaganza.  He is actually sent to the hospital where the doctor tells him he cannot return to “Hell’s Kitchen” and Gordon calls to give him the bad news and is kinder than I think I’ve ever seen him be.  Anyhow.

We learn that Julia doesn’t know what a creme brulee is and apparently this is an infraction that most of the red team just simply cannot fathom.  Whatever.  Julia rocks, I just wish she’d get some powder for her forehead because the shine off of it makes me nervous.  Dinner service goes about as well as you’d expect.  Which is to say it doesn’t go well at all.  It’s hard to chose which team does worse, but the women get the dubious honor what with the rancid crab that Joanna tries to serve and the spaghetti from the trash that Jen thinks is fit to serve (thank goodness Julia stopped her in time).   Oh, and Bonnie tries to serve raw scallops and sends Gordon into a fit of apoplectic rage.  It was awesome.

So the women are sent off to chose two people to put up before Gordon.  He can barely stand to look at them.  Hee.  So who do they chose?  Joanna is an easy pick.  The other choice should either be Bonnie or Jen but who do they pick?  JULIA.  Why?  Because she doesn’t know what creme brulee is.  No, I’m serious.  Thankfully, Jen knows that’s a bunch of bullshit and when announcing the nominees to Gordon, throws herself on the sword.  She then tells Gordon about the pasta/trash incident and I think as floored as he is that she would dare do something like that, the fact that she saved Julia and then fessed up won some big time points in his book.  Not that there was any way that Julia would be sent home because Gordon likes her.  So who goes?  Joanna.  A big ol’ duh there (remember?  the competition is actually very little of what these shows are about), but deserved.  Let’s hope the women ramp it up next week or the guys are liable to stomp their butts.

This is something which I’ve wondered about many times in the last couple of years.  It’s not good news to reality TV fans, or to this website.  Newsweek and MSNBC.com recently released an article speculating on the future of reality TV.  The prognosis isn’t very good.  Considering that the founder of modern day reality TV, Mark Burnett himself, has put out several new shows this summer that are bombing rather spectacularly causes one to wonder if the “thrill is gone” when it comes to reality TV.  He’s an executive producer of “On the Lot” and “Pirate Master” both, and there was a lot of hype and marketing for both shows throughout the spring months.  Now?  The shows aren’t doing so well, the viewers aren’t tuning in and the future of reality TV would appear to be on the line. What do you think?  Do you think that reality TV is just a flash in the pan or will there always be a reality show around to watch and enjoy?

A lot of things came to an end on “Pirate Master” last night (other than the show itself which might end up happening sooner rather than later if the ratings don’t improve). One of those things was Joe Don’s rule as captain. The “red crew” found their treasure chest before the “black crew” (though admittedly it was neck and neck) and as a result, the “red crew” was allowed to pick a captain to replace the former tyrant. One had to wonder if Alexis didn’t sabotage the treasure hunt as she seemed to be deliberately slowing the “black crew” down. Maybe, just maybe, she was sick of Joe Don as captain? Weren’t we all? Anyhow, the “red crew” selected the dreadlocked Azmyth as their captain and he chose Jupiter and Jay as his officers.

Another thing that came to an end last night was the continuation of booting out men and keeping the women.  Azmyth gave the black spot to Alexis, Laurel and former officer Cheryl.  Cheryl wasn’t the least bit worried and Laurel seemed more confused than anything else.  Highlights from the Pirate’s Court include host Cameron calling Azmyth out on his faux accent.  He admits that the crew seemed to be enjoying it. Ha! For some reason, Jay was given the floor after Azmyth and he sorta went off on Cheryl which I had to wonder if it was wise at the time.  Because unless he was SURE she was going home, his words could come back to bite him in a big way.  Indeed, it comes down to a 4-4 tie between Cheryl and Alexis.  How is the tie broken? Why, let the captain chose, of course!  And he choses Alexis so she takes her sour puss out to sea on her Raft of Doom.  (I still am missing the plank)  I imagine Jay might be regretting overplaying his hand a touch, don’t you?

There’s a little bit of everything today, so let’s get started:

• Notice the super-cool, completely professional (snort) looking masthead up top!  451Press has now implemented the option to use customized mastheads for the blogs and I think it’s a fabulous idea.  Expect that this one will change periodically as my mood strikes.  Do you like it?
• Remember when I mentioned that “On the Lot”’s ratings were up last week after having an abysmal rating of 2.9 million viewers the week before?  Well this week, they were back to 2.9 million viewers again.  Variety even reported that “On the Lot” was dragging down ratings for “House” which airs directly afterwards but still has about double the viewers the reality show has.  OUCH.  So does anyone want to take bets for how long until this show is finally pulled from the lineup?
• Expect to see Jennie Garth from “Beverly Hills 90210″ fame to join “Dancing with the Stars 5″ this fall.  Apparently former co-star Ian Ziering was able to talk her into it.  Also, it’s rumored that Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown will be joining the cast as well.
• If you were wondering, the contestants on CBS’s “Pirate Master” aren’t responsible for keeping the boat afloat.  Apparently the ship runs with a “ghost crew” that works things behind the scenes.  Of course!  I pretty much figured as much.
• Frankie Abernathy, a former cast member of MTV’s Real World: San Diego, died over the weekend from cystic fibrosis.  Frankie left the show midseason after much drama that is ever-present on the MTV reality show.
• Donald Trump apparently hasn’t gotten the hint and is developing another reality show, this time for FOX.  He’s pimping a “Lady or a Tramp” style show where women are sent to “charm school” in order to learn how to be proper ladies.  Riiiiight.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg, ya’ll.  The world is chock full of reality news today.   But that’s the juiciest of the juicy.  Enjoy your Thursday!

I didn’t enjoy my television as much last night as I normally do on Tuesday nights.  “Deadliest Catch” was spot on, of course.  But then, it always is.  It’s so incredibly difficult to find any show with any sort of consistency in the world of reality TV and “Deadliest Catch” delivers week after week.  I have great affection for this show, as you may have noticed.  Last night saw the final hours of the opilio crab season, as the boats scrambled to snap up huge amounts of crab before going to the sorting facilities to offload their catch.  And snap up huge amounts they did!  Many pots full of 700+ crab were hauled on deck and that’s just amazing right there.  The deckhands were punch-drunk excited when they started calculating what sort of money they’re dealing with.  Ice threatened more than one boat.  It’s quite a gamble, going north to look for crab.  Getting stuck in the ice or losing pots under the ice or having the ice bust open the hull of the ship would be disastrous.  Luckily, it would appear our boats made it out just fine.  And next week?  The boats cash in and we find out just what kind of money they made this season.  And, we say goodbye.  Until next year, that is.  *sniff*

“On the Lot” was on last night as well.  We saw five more contestants films.  I’ve since confirmed that these are indeed their submission films.  And tonight, there was no one film that just jumped out and grabbed me.  Andrew’s “Polished” was pretty decent, as was Shira-Lee’s “Beeline”.  But those films had their faults and fell short of perfect or even “great” in my book.  However, there were some poor films this go around so I think Andrew and Shira-Lee are safe.  Kenny, dear Kenny, did a very serious if disorienting film about grief and alcoholism called “Edge on the End”.  I think he and Marty (who did another serious short called “Dance with the Devil”) are the ones at risk this week.  Marty has great style, but he’s insufferably egotistical and has yet to show any substance to his films.  And Kenny is all style and strange film angles and rough cuts.  Which is fine and good, but depending on what they’re looking for in this competition, I don’t think he stands a great chance.  By having the public vote for the winners, I would gather that they’re looking for a mainstream director and Kenny is anything BUT mainstream.

In other “On the Lot” news, our bottom two from last week are Trever and Hilary.  I would agree that Trever’s film last week was pretty poor, but so was Hilary’s.  And at least Trever’s 1 minute short was awesome, whereas Hilary’s was NOT.  So that makes her with two poor films and him with one and guess who went home?  Yep, it was Trever.  A big bummer, as far as I’m concerned.  I thought she was sure thing to be leaving last night.   Next week?  Five more films.  And then we move on.  I HOPE.

Last night was another entertaining romp into “Hell’s Kitchen” and what it’s like to work for the devil.  Oh Gordon Ramsay, I kid because I love.  After the girls’ thrashing last week, it seemed only fair they get a week off the hot seat.  They won a challenge that involved the teams preparing sole for the dinner service.  The women prepared more “acceptable” sole than the men so they won a fishing and lunch reward with Ramsay himself, who kept a healthy distance from them (and their overspilling cleavage).  During the challenge, Aaron started to fall apart (yes AGAIN and in much the same way as he did last week too) and Ramsay surprisingly let him off pretty easily and he went to “compose himself” for the next 30 minutes to FOUR HOURS or so.  Must be nice!   When he returned to his team, he said he wanted to quit.  I thought, “Great!  Let him go!”  But the guys actually talked him into staying.  SERIOUSLY.  And he did.  It didn’t make any sense.

The dinner went about as you’d expect.  Aaron was selected to debone fish for the diners tableside and that was a nightmare.  The man was about as efficient at deboning as he is at sucking it up and not whimpering all the damn time.  He left many bones behind as well as cold fish since it took him forever.  And yet, when the men predictably lose the evening and Rock is chosen as the “best of the worst”, he does NOT select Aaron to go in front of Ramsay.  WHY??  Everyone seemed to be surprised by this, maybe Aaron was the most surprised.  Even Ramsay looked surprised.  So who was chosen?  Josh and teeny Eddie.  And who went home?  Teeny Eddie.  Whatever.  This show so doesn’t make sense half the time.

Next week, one of the contestants may end up killing a diner.  Excellent!

There are a lot of juicy reality TV news tidbits this morning.  So many that I couldn’t chose just one to share and no single tidbit would make a full-bodied and interesting post so I decided to gather them all together and post them up for you to enjoy.  Enjoy!

• For everyone who has always wanted to watch the “Big Brother” live feeds but hasn’t wanted to deal with the hassle of subscribing and watching them online, there’s good news!  Showtime will be airing “Big Brother: After Dark” from 9pm to midnight every night, showing live feeds from the house on their ShoToo channel.  Profanity and nudity?  Totally unedited.  Sweet!
• Speaking of “Big Brother 8″, the show will debut (as will the “After Dark” version) on July 5th on CBS.  The schedule will be: Tuesdays at 9, Thursdays at 8 and Sundays at 8.  Yep, that means “Pirate Master” is going to be moving.  To when, I don’t know.  Do I care?  No.  “Big Brother” trumps “Pirate Master” any day.
• Bindi Irwin, the late Steve Irwin’s daughter, debuted her show on Animal Planet this last weekend as a part of the Irwin Family weekend.   There were several specials highlighting Steve Irwin, Bindi’s new show and Bindi and her mother.  Did you happen to catch any of them?
• British “Big Brother” ousted a contestant from their show recently for racism.  Apparently 19 year old Emily Parr used a derogatory term about a fellow contestant on last Wednesday night (the remark was not aired live).  Producers were forced to eject her immediately from the house, in light of an incident that aired on “Celebrity Big Brother” where they aired insults towards Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty and the public outcry was overwhelming.

I don’t know about you, but after writing all of that, I’m so ready for “Big Brother” to start.  Quite simply the best thing about summer TV there is.  Well, besides “The 4400″ and “Hell’s Kitchen”, that is.