Watching Reality TV

Although, after the show on Tuesday night it was pretty obvious that Haley Scarnato was on her way out. Still, with “American Idol”, you never know. They love to surprise and shock us, get us chattering around the water cooler the next morning. So it wasn’t exactly a sure thing. But it was close. Yep, last night America sent Haley packing, at long, long last. I still contend it wasn’t her poor singing skills that got her the boot (because she’d been singing poorly all along), but her poor choice of outfit. While it was skimpy, as you can see in the photo on the left, it just wasn’t that attractive. Girl, when the only thing keeping you on the show is your looks, you don’t really want to take any fashion risks, mmkay? Ah well, I’m just glad that I don’t have to keep watching her stomp all over the stage in her super high heels any longer. Yes, I still have to suffer through Sanjaya, but the pain of that has been meted somewhat. I’ll predict that Phil goes home next week because we know that Sanjaya is never, ever leaving this show.

This is starting to be a regular feature here on Watching Reality TV. But Tuesday night is such a good night of reality, that I the first thing I want to talk about on Wednesday mornings is how annoying Sanjaya is getting and has Leeza gone home YET? So without further ado, let’s talk some “American Idol”, shall we?

Nice facial hair, eh? I guess he actually grew that? Weird. I guess he was going for the Latin Lover look or something. But looking at him makes me want to be ill so that effect was sure lost on me. Surprisingly, though, he wasn’t awful last night. Not as awful as Chris Richardson, in my opinion, who completely ruined his song choice of “Smooth”. The judges didn’t think it was bad but I sure did. Yow. Also not that great were Melinda Doolittle (yawn) and LaKisha (she could have done better). Haley was downright horrible. Seriously, I didn’t even think she looked cute last night. Something about her hairdo, with the fake eyelashes, the weird eyebrow shaping and the red lips just looked downright awful. And her singing, I swear, I felt like I was on a cruise ship. I expected a waiter to deliver me little drinks with umbrellas in them at any moment. I’m going to go out on a limb and predict that Haley is going home tonight. Yep, I think this is her week.

The best of the night, by far, was Blake Lewis. He sung Marc Anthony’s “Need to Know” and he burned up the stage. He had it RIGHT ON. Easily, he’s the best of the male singers. I don’t think a guy has a chance of winning this thing this year, but if one did, it’d be Blake. Either way, I think he’s got a future. He’s just awesome. The judges thought he was pretty good too. It’ll be interesting to see how it shakes down tonight. I have given up all hope on Sanjaya ever going home. I’m thinking next year he’ll be there as an honorary judge.

What about “Dancing with the Stars”? I’m thinking they could take a few cues from “American Idol” in how they present the results show. They draw it out WAY too much. There just isn’t an hours worth of content there. They would be best served to present the next week’s dances and then get to the results. None of the silliness and pretty-footing they do. Just a thought. I mean, I know ABC wants to milk this cash cow as much as they can, but enough is enough.

So what are next week’s dances (see how I did that? Just like the Big Boys, I’m delaying the results for dramatic effect. I watch a little too much reality tv, methinks)? Next week we have the Samba and the Rumba. Ole! Personally, I can barely tell all the dances apart, so I just have to take their word for it. What I can tell is when I think a dancer stinks and there’s a few in this group that are just plain rotten.

Clyde Drexler is pretty rotten. Not only can’t he dance, but he can’t keep his mouth shut either. I’m going to make a bold proclamation and predict that he’s gone next week. He can’t be winning too many people over with his cocky antics and I think he’s just pissing everyone off, judges included. Mark my words, people.

And speaking of predictions, I was SO RIGHT. I love being right. While I suppose it doesn’t count as a legitimate prediction, Leeza Gibbons going home was something I’ve predicted for weeks, including Monday night. So bonus points go to me for that one. I’m just glad I won’t have to watch her struggle through another dance again. Next on my list are the loveable Clyde and then Heather Mills. I still don’t like her. ABC wants me to like her, but I don’t like her. Do you like her? Does anyone?

I’ve noticed in past weeks (and past seasons) that the judges are very conservative with their scores. A lot of times (I’m thinking of last week in particular), there is such a little difference between the contestants scores. So it was nice, this week, to see the judges using the broad range of scores to really delineate between who they thought were true contenders and who they thought needed to go home (or just really really WORK ON IT). Some good examples of that from last night were Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko, who got the first “4″ of the season and a total of 15 points. Truthfully, he just wasn’t that fun to look at last night. He wasn’t making it interesting and I know he’s not using his full potential. Which is a shame, cuz he could be going home tomorrow. Though, I still hope Leeza is the one to go home. She scored barely above him with a 16 and the judges had some harsh words for her Paso Doble. I’m just tired of watching her. It’s time for her to go.

The performers of the night were Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough dancing the Waltz and garnering a very respectable 26 from the judges. I thought they were going to be the best of the evening but then Joey Fatone went last with Kym Johnson and blew that out of the water. His Paso Doble was literally on fire (at least according to Carrie Ann) and the judges gave him the first “10″ of the season for an overall score of 28. WOW. No worrying about him going home this week. Or ever, most likely. The boy just can’t seem to go wrong.

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First off, many apologies for the lack of postage on Friday. I was KO’d by an unexpected DSL emergency. Luckily, my modem has been replaced and I’m back in business. Let’s just say that 24+ hours of no internet is nothing short of torture for a geek like me. I hope not to have to suffer such a horror ever, ever again.

Now, onto the good stuff. Well, okay, that might be overstating things. I don’t know if I’d call this season of “Amazing Race” good. Strange, to be sure. I have the feeling that I’m watching Bizarro World “Amazing Race”. Everything is like the direct opposite of how it should be. What the heck?

1. Rob and Amber are eliminated early, beaten out by CHARLA AND MIRNA. The only solace I receive is they weren’t outlived by David and Mary who have literally negative racing skillz.
2. I actually find myself enjoying the BQ’s. After last season and my hatred of them and their catiness, the fact that I can stand them would be entirely out of character. But liking them? What the HECK?
3. Uchenna and Joyce making stupid flight scheduling mistakes and getting elminated. I was already sort of surprised at their near elimination before but this takes the freakin’ cake. I’m amazed and disappointed. This season is really kinda sucking, isn’t it?
4. How wrong is it that the Frat Boyz were gone so soon? I was looking forward to enjoying Kevin and Drew and was so sad to see them go. In a perfect world, they would have certainly outlasted annoying teams like Eric and Danielle and Charla and Mirna.
5. Speaking of, how are these two consistently leading the pack? I about lost my lunch when they got the first flight to Kuala Lumpur. They came in second to last last week and now they’re in FIRST? What the HECK?!?

So yeah, maybe you can understand a little of my confusion. There’s just an awful lot about this show that isn’t making ANY sense.

And let me just say, that Eric and Danielle calling the BQ’s “dirty, dirty hookers” and “shady bitches” simply because they dared to try to win the race and yield them was truly disgusting. Also disgusting? The cookie task. I’m sorry, but I HATE black licorice and if I had to bite into a bazillion cookies to find one with a licorice center I think I’d have to kill myself. I had a hard time not retching just watching it. BLECH! And, back to Eric and Danielle (since I have transferred my hatred of the BQ’s to them), I hate his “Colege” shirt. It drives me up the wall. Why is that supposed to be funny? I don’t think that’s funny. I think it’s retarded. It makes me want to slug him. Hard. Also retarded is how Oswald and Danny would NOT decide on a task. OMG, just pick one and do it. If Charla and Mirna win the million, I’m blaming you guys. “Broughten”? SO not a word. UGH.

Anyhow. Obviously I’m just in a mood over this show. I need to get over it. It’s not going to be an awesome season. Get used to the idea and move on.

So the results show for “American Idol” was on last night. Sandwiched in between “Jericho” and “Lost”, it was a no-brainer on my tv schedule. And I thought, “Even if Sanjaya isn’t going home (which we know he isn’t), maybe they’ll finally get rid of Phil or Haley.” Right? NOPE.

No, Gina Glockson was sent home instead. I liked Gina. A lot. I didn’t harbor any delusions that’d she win the thing, as she is no Melinda Doolittle. But she’s not that bad and has been gaining momentum each week. I’ve always enjoyed watching her perform and I enjoyed her musical style. And when it was revealed she was leaving and her teary reaction… well I was pretty mad. There is NO way that Gina deserved to go. Yes, I was annoyed last week when Chris Sligh went home before Sanjaya, Phil and Haley, but at the same time, his talent was starting to wane in the competition. Gina was on the go. Her performance Tuesday night was spot on. So what’s the friggin’ deal??

I think America has lost their bleepin’ minds. Obviously, they kept Haley around because she’s cute and she all but flashed her boobs at us on Tuesday. I’m not entirely sure why they kept Phil. GRRR. Let’s not EVEN talk about Sanjaya (save for the fact that I love how everyone is misinterpreting Simon’s comments on his performance to be a compliment when they were SO NOT.). I don’t even know why I still watch this show, seeing as how it is obviously jacked to hell and back.

Wow, last night was a good night for reality tv. At least from where I’m sitting. And while “House” did win out over the “Dancing with the Stars” results show, I was still very interested in the results. But let’s go in order, shall we?

***

“Deadliest Catch” premiered it’s third season last night and I was in crab heaven. And we haven’t even seen any crab yet! It was that good. It was great to see some returning favorites, like the crews of the Cornelia Marie and the Northwestern among others. It felt like being reunited with old friends. Being the premiere episode, we got to see the crews preparing for the king crab season. That included a pretty amusing segment where they shopped for supplies. The “ship mother” with her shopping list and recipes to buy for and the men who simply walked down aisles and knocked food into the cart willy nilly.

The big news of the episode was tragedy. I’m not sure of the details, but there was another fishing vessel that encountered distress and the crew abandoned ship. Which, during the fall in the Baring Sea is no small feat considering the near-Arctic temperatures of the water. We followed the Coast Guard on the rescue and witness the ominous discovery of the empty survival suit and the even more ominous discovery of the completely empty life-raft. The episode closed out with the rescue of one guy, in his survival suit in the ocean. As they cut him out of his suit, he was shaking so hard he was nearly a blur. And that’s where the episode ended. Dude. That’s just intense, right there. If you missed it, you can catch the episode online here: “Deadliest Catch” fansite.

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We were treated to yet another episode of “American Idol” tonight. And I was pleasantly surprised by the pairing of Tony Bennett with the contestants. That man is class. The Way You Look Tonight was the song my husband and I danced to at our wedding. And the songs everyone chose were pretty good, for the most part. I am not including, of course, Sanjaya. He aggravates me and makes me want to tear my ears off. I don’t have any idea WHY he’s still on that show. But I do enjoy Simon’s snarky comments to him each week. He’s getting meaner. Meaner to Hayley as well, though she rightly deserves most of it. Despite looking bodacious in a jewel green dress, her singing was subpar at best. Simon’s comment to her? “Your legs look great.” I’m sure he meant another part of her anatomy, but legs works. The best of the bunch were Lakisha (of course) and Melinda (who looked so much better in a more modernly stylish dress and new hairstyle). This comes as no surprise, I’m sure. If I had to bet on who would be going home, I’d say either Hayley or Phil (who was tone-deaf tonight), since we KNOW Sanjaya won’t be going home. Bah!

***

And, lastly, “Dancing with the Stars”. Turns out that Shandi the beauty queen went home. I can understand that. Her dancing is okay, but nothing remarkable and she doesn’t have a strong tie to the fans the way some of the other contestants do. And how pleased was I that Leeza ended up in the bottom two. Is that mean spirited of me? Heh. Even though the judges were pleased with her on Monday, it was nice to see the audience speak out. I don’t think she’ll be around for too much longer. Mark my words people. And though the judges weren’t happy with Apolo and Laila this week, the fans were. And that’s what matters. Now, if this were a perfect world, Leeza would be going home next week, followed rather unceremoniously by Heather Mills (before she milks any more publicity, GOD). But we all know this isn’t a perfect world and my dreams are destined to be dashed. Dangit.

It’s cheesy, that’s true, but “Dancing with the Stars” is fine reality fun. Much better than, say, “The Bachelor” which premiered last night and I refused to watch. I do have standards and I feel “The Bachelor” represents the worst side of reality TV. But “Dancing with the Stars” is harmless fun. And the dresses are incredible. Last night was a great night, I thought. After last night’s episode (which consisted of Tangos and Jives), there were four couples tied for first place with 24 points. Those couples were: Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson who danced the Tango, Ian Ziering and Cheryl Burke who danced the Jive, Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovolani (seriously!) who danced the Tango and Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts who danced a surprising Jive. At the bottom of the pack were John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska who danced the Tango and got a score of 20 and Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko who danced a Jive and got an embarassing 16 from the judges. Ouch. I don’t think I agreed with all of the scores. I didn’t see Leeza deserving her 24 and thought Laila Ali did deserve a 24. Same with Apolo Anton Ohno, his “Pulp Fiction” themed Jive was fun and fantastic and though he fell just a point short of 24, I thought he deserved the higher score. Joey Fatone brought the fun yet again with a “Star Wars” themed Tango. No, seriously! They even played the “Star Wars” themed music (disco-ized which I think is a crime against nature, but whatever) and Kym sported a very Princess Leia-esqe “slave girl” outfit. Points to them for creativity and I was glad they were in the top four. I just thought that Laila Ali and Apolo Anton Ohno deserved to be there too. And perhaps no Leeza or Heather. I’m still ticked at Heather for being Heather (reasonable, I know) and Leeza, try as she might, just bores me.

So those are my thoughts, what did YOU think?

Wow, for being a double episode, last night’s “Amazing Race” was amazingly dull. Bummer. I think since teams like Rob and Amber went home, the pizazz went out of the season. Or, perhaps the season was doomed before it started, to suffer a fate not unlike that of “Amazing Race: Family Edition”. We started off in Mozambique, where we left off, and the teams headed to Warsaw, Poland. Because that’s probably the exact opposite of Mozambique and as you can imagine, traveling to Poland is a bit difficult. Charla and Mirna, Danny and Oswald and the BQ’s all gathered at a travel agency to purchase their tickets and after some snippy maneuvering, off they went. Once in Warsaw, there was a Detour where teams had to pick between Perfect Pitch and Perfect Angle. One involved x-raying a male mannequin and the other involved tuning a grand piano. Most of the teams wisely chose Perfect Pitch, though Charla and Mirna chose Perfect Angle and lugged the mannequin around town. Results with both tasks had mixed success. The important thing is, the BQ’s rocked Perfect Pitch and moved way ahead of the competition. Meanwhile, the teams at the back of the pack were having considerable difficulty getting to Warsaw. Knowing myself like I do, I know that is what would drive me the craziest. Airport stress is the worst sort of travel stress there is.

All we need to know about this leg, is that the BQ’s came in first at the pitstop and were confident that they would be winning “Amazing Race” this time around. Don’t speak too soon! The teams were so spread apart, that the BQ’s departed the pitstop before the last teams had even checked in. YOW! Bill and Joe, the Guidos, checked in last but it was a non-elimination leg, lucky for them. The next leg started off with a visit to Auschwitz-Birkenau, the concentration camp where over a million people were murdered by the Nazi regime back during World War 2. This obviously had a sobering effect on the teams, and some of them had a hard time shaking the gloom of it afterward. I imagine that visiting such a place would be extremely humbling. Afterward, the teams come across an Intersection, where two teams need to work together to finish the task. Lucky for them, Uchenna and Joyce and Danny and Oswald happen upon the Intersection first and at the same time. They run off to work together. The BQ’s, who showed up just behind them, had to wait four hours for the next team, Charla and Mirna, to catch up and work with them.

Even luckier for Uchenna and Joyce and Danny and Oswald, they are able to complete the Fast Forward which catapults them past a nasty bulk eating task and directly to the pitstop, hours and hours ahead of the other teams. The rest aren’t so lucky. The other teams need to eat, eat, eat. Each person must eat two feet of sausage. And I don’t think we’re talking Hillshire Farms Polska Kielbasa, either. The last four teams are all there at the same time, racing to finish first. Unfortunately for the Guidos who are marked for elimination, they are paired with Eric and Danielle and both of them have trouble finishing the sausage in a timely manner. Charla has difficulty as well, so the teams essentially leave that task at about the same time. What next? A roadblock which requires one person dress up in a suit of armor and lead a horse through the woods to a castle gate. Piece of cake, right? Guess who has to dress up? Charla, of course! I kept wondering where they found armor to fit her. She had trouble walking in the armor (and falling over) and leading the enormous horse. Mirna helpfully followed along and berated her cousin. Mirna, I feel I must mention, was in particularly poor form last night. She was horrible to Charla and even worse to the locals. ELIMINATE THESE GOOBERS, please! It wasn’t to be last night, as they finished ahead of the Guidos and Eric and Danielle (but not ahead of the BQ’s). And, because they were marked for elimination, the Guidos were eliminated. Boo!

If next week’s episode doesn’t see Charla and Mirna going home, I may have to start a revolution or something.